Big Friday Night

I had a really exciting time Friday night. I'd been working long hours the past few weeks and planned a quiet evening at home with carryout and an early bedtime. But the night went in a different direction. For the first time in my life, I said, "I need to go to the hospital!!!" I said it was an exciting night, I didn't say it was fun. LOL!!! And since I'm writing this, there's no way I can keep you in suspense--I'm perfectly fine.

My stomach hurt Friday, but nothing serious. When I got home it was a little worse and by 10pm it felt like something on my left side was about to burst. Had my spleen turned against me? The pain expanded, running from the middle of my ribs on the left side down through my groin. Then I discovered I had (TMI Alert) blood in my urine--a lot. I didn't want to panic. So I played Bejeweled, hoping the pain would end. It got worse. Finally at 11:30 I decided I had toughed it out long enough. That's when I asked my wife to take me to the hospital. That was hard--I'm the guy who takes other people to the hospital. I've never needed that kind of help. The ride was miserable. Like a dog riding in the front seat, I leaned my head against the window—and occasionally out the window.

The ER admission process was almost unbearable, but then I got to lie down and the pain eased a little. Eventually a doctor came by, pressed on my abdomen (ouch) and moved me to a chair. He ordered blood work and that a stint be put in my hand. I was also scheduled for a CAT scan. The unbearable pain returned after the doc moved me. Not all, but most of the ER nurses were annoying. I was in horrible pain, wondering would I hurl or pass out first, and four of them were hooting, hollering and generally being loud and obnoxious about something. I was NOT glad they were having fun. I know, I'm being petty. Don't care!!!

Anyway, at 2:30 a nurse put the stint in and took blood out. Then she led me to a small private room in the ER ward. It was nice to be away from the hub-bub, but the pain persisted. Then an angel gave me a shot for the pain—I love that nurse! The shot worked so quickly I thought it was my imagination. When I mentioned that, the nurse chuckled and said, “Well, I did just put a narcotic directly into your bloodstream.” It was nice—so very, very nice.

At 3:40 an orderly rolled me to the CAT scan. It was fun getting to ride on the gurney—but maybe it seemed so fun due to the drugs. The friendly CAT scan operator said he thought I had a cyst on my kidney. I didn’t like the sound of that. But at 5am the ER doctor came back and said I'd had a kidney stone (no cyst), but had passed it already. Woo-hoo! I jumped up to leave, but the doc sent me to a 24-hour pharmacy for pain meds just in case. My wife had managed to sleep some during the night, but was really groggy when we left the hospital. So I drove home. I was ready—it had been at least 2 hours since I’d gotten that lovely shot. I'll be seeing a urologist on Friday, just as a precaution.

Interesting footnote: According to the nurses, I experienced a pain similar to childbirth. So the jokes are true—our species would not survive if men had to give birth. ;P