Have I mentioned that I used to have a page on MySpace? I did a little blogging, but mostly played Mafia Wars and stumbled across one or two great people, like Mel. I followed her here to Blogspot and Ricademus was born--so please forward any complaints to her. ;P
I visited my old page tonight to dig out the post below. I don't have writer's block (hope I didn't just jinx myself), but I was thinking about the story and wanted to share it.
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Aug 10, 2008
Taking Offense
I learned a good lesson a few years ago. I had worked too late and needed to rush to catch the last train of the night (11:30pm). I was walking as fast as I could on the empty street, mostly looking down and still thinking about my work. A half-yell startled me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see a woman running up the street towards the subway. I started looking around to see what danger she was running from. I saw nothing, I was the only person on the street.
Suddenly it hit me, the woman was running from me.
I was annoyed. She was safer with me on the street than she would have been alone. I got a little angry--for about 5 seconds. That's how long it took me to realize she did exactly the right thing. She didn't know me. She needed to do what she needed to do to feel safe. The woman running had nothing to do with me personally, it was just a reflection of the fact that there are too many men (but really just a small percentage) who behave in ways that give men in general a bad name. The same is true of women.
Who can you trust?
It's no fun to not be trusted, but unless the other person knows you REALLY well, you can't take it personally. People HAVE to follow their instincts and do what they need to do to feel safe. So if a stranger is wary of you, don't be offended. Just make sure you don't do anything to give someone a real reason not to trust you.
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In addition to not being offended, don't think badly of the person who backed away from you. Better safe than sorry works both ways. So, look at it as one less birthdate you'll ever need to learn/remember and one less card you'll have to send. LOL!!!
Happy Monday
PS - Don't miss your chance to win free Herro Hachi merchandise!!!
I probably would've done the same thing the woman did. Although I think I would've walked fast instead of run so as not to be that obvious. :P Yeah, unfortunately this can be a scary world we live in and I believe we can never be too safe. :S
ReplyDeleteHey ya look who got her kiddos in bed early haha. I like this post makes me think about various times I have watched people together when I was out and how they react. I've seen so many women dart out of a place due to certain men being near them and double checking to make sure no one was following. I have to say while there are many men who give the good ones a bad name most of the times I have had people go out of their way to help me (strangers) it has been men. For instance just recently I was taking the kids to the mall and walking up with my entourage of a a 3 yr. old and Ryan's land yacht of a stroller and no automatic doors there was a man coming up the parking lot and actually ran ahead of me to hold the door for us how nice is that? When we left I was struggling with the door to get out and two different women passed us and just went around to different doors. This comment got long sorry. Hope you had a good easter.
ReplyDelete- if people backed away from us, thats ok
ReplyDeletebecause people come and go in our lives.
Did you laugh out loud? Coz I would have! Hahahhaaa.
ReplyDeleteI learned my lesson about we can never be safe enough in Japan, one time when I was ahving that awful date with that certain guy, and the other time when the earthquake happened... Well, I avoid going outside after 9 pm here, since sometimes really scary people are running around. but the area I live in is rather safe.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, have a nice Easter!
lol! To be more safe, the woman shouldn't have yelled even the tiniest bit. I mean, what IF you're a mental stabber holding a knife and you heard the woman's voice?
ReplyDeleteI used to have a myspace page but I never upadated it :P
Happy Easter! :)
Ever since the theft incident I experienced last year I became more wary of people I ride public utility vehicles with. It's not easy, being scared all the time :(
ReplyDeleteomg she ran away from you?! but were you dress like a hobo? did you shave that morning? haha I don't think I've ever ran away from soneone before they start freaking me out, I think...
ReplyDeletei would totally start dancing to the song "She's a maniac", and of course the music would only be in my mind ahahahha.
ReplyDeleteI understand where she's coming from but I wonder if the half-yell was necessary? :x
ReplyDeleteso now i'm curious...did you have a creepster mustache or a fu manchu? those would surely make me run from you too! hahahahaha!!! i'm kidding, i'm kidding.
ReplyDeletei have yet to make anyone run from me, but that doesn't mean it won't ever happen.
Food for thought right there! But I wouldn't run wth..walk faster,maybe. This post really made me think about what we need to do sometimes. We just had those human instinct, but sometimes is it worth following? I stopped using myspace because of all the creepers that has been adding me lol. have a great monday!!!
ReplyDeletethe other dog is a mixed breed with border collie genes. very gentle dog and very protective.
ReplyDeletethough, he easily gets bored. mainly because his genes are meant for herding and we dont have sheeps, so my dad takes them out every saturdays and sundays to run and play all morning.
thanks for your support in voting for me on fb !
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a convo i had with friends last week. We were talking about road rage and how i've gotten into a few angry "conversations" with people before b/c of their driving and my friends were saying that who's really going to be intimidated by someone driving a BEETLE... with a flower in the front seat. hahaha! (note to self: this would make a good blog post) I wish people would be intimidated by me but really... it's hard when you're a little asian girl standing at 5'1 and can hardly keep a serious face on. haha :P
ReplyDeleteThis post I really like! haha I don't know why I'm talking like Yoda but it's great to see your sensible thoughts.. I would probably run away for dear life if I was alone on the streets and saw a man walking at high speed! Sigh this story reminds me of all the things I had learned in my Women's Wellbeing psychology class last year. Women have to take extra precaution for understandable reason, vastly different gender dynamics and power structures in society..
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting take on the matter. I've come across casual friends who sometimes show their cautiousness with me. I don't feel offended coz I do the same.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the worst is when the friends I have given my trust failed me. It hurts but as you said, it's one less birthday to remember or one less card to sent makes it feel so much better. Thanks for idea Rick.