Subway Tales I

I ride the Washington subway every workday, twice a day (at least). It’s safe, but when you ride it so often, things are bound to happen once in a while. That’s true almost anywhere (even in a Canadian desert). But my commute does take me through a bad neighborhood. On occasion there’s a dangerous situation, or a funny situation, or just something that makes me think. I’d like to share 3 incidents—the 1st one dangerous and the next 2 (in another post) made me think. Here’s the first:

It’s not unusual to encounter kids alone on the subway; DC provides a subsidy to students to help lower the need for school buses. Plus, once in a while you’ll see a class on a field trip. More often, you’ll see kids on unofficial field trips—skipping school and using their subway subsidy to get around. One morning a group of 17 year-olds (my guess) boarded the train. 2 girls and 4 boys. You could see 2 of the boys were jockeying for position to see who would get to sit with the cute girl. She crossed them both up, she sat next to me. One of the young men sat across the aisle from her and the other guy sat two seats ahead of us, but turned around so he could talk to her. Mostly the two fellows talked trash to each other, competing to impress the pretty girl. They threatened each other with all sorts of violence.

Normally I close my eyes during the morning commute to clear my mind. But I learned from my brother there are times to keep your eyes open. That morning was one of them—although, my fellow commuters all had their eyes closed, pretending not to hear the escalating noise. I found myself trying to get a read on the kids. Were they good kids putting up a front to fit into their neighborhood or was violence a real possibility? Soon I was drawn into the mix.

I noticed the boy in front of us was staring at me as he stroked his chin. He was thinking. When I see someone staring at me, I automatically return the look. It just happens. After a few long moments, the boy said to his friends, “I think I’ll have to take him out too. He might be a witness.”

Fortunately (sadly??), I’ve been in similar situations before. I followed my instincts. I smiled at the young man as if I was the most relaxed person in the world and decided to surprise him. I said, “You probably will. I have a good memory and make a great witness.”

Before I could see his reaction, his friends erupted with hoots, pointing and laughter. He looked embarrassed. Since the ice was broken, I asked the girl next to me where they were headed on their “field trip”. She giggled and said they were going to the Zoo. I told her I love the Zoo and suggested they check out the cheetahs. But my embarrassed friend wasn’t done. In an angry tone he asked, “What do you mean ‘you love the zoo’??? Zoos are for kids you bum.” Feeling the confidence I had faked earlier, I laughed and responded, “How did you know? I quit my job yesterday so I could be a bum. You must be psychic!!!” His friends reacted even more strongly this time.

At that point we were pulling into my stop. So while they laughed and pointed, I excused myself to the young lady (so she’d stand up and I could exit my seat) and got off the train. I admit I did look over my shoulder once as I approached the escalators—just in case. But I was lucky. Either I dorked my way out of trouble or those kids had not become part of the violence they saw so often.

PS - A funny situation: One night I worked late and encountered a "bum" on the train. It had been weeks since he'd bathed or shaved. I felt bad for him, but at that moment he was happy. He was very drunk and explaining something he'd read in the paper. According to some study, there were 3 eligible women for every 1 eligible man in DC. He told me, "I likes them odds!!!"

Knowing eligible girls were out there made him so happy!