A sign I'm getting old...

When should a person start feeling old? Hopefully never! Unfortunately something happened last week that made me feel old. It wasn’t my birthday. I’m happy to see that roll around. Although, my wife looks forward to it much more than I do (I enjoy other people’s birthdays more than my own). She is 3 weeks older than I am and she does not enjoy those weeks at all. She’s happy when my b-day arrives because then “we’re the same age again”.

The year I learned she felt that way, I made a huge mistake. I used to tease her about being an older woman. It was funny when she was 16. It was hysterical when she was 18 and I was still 17. It wasn’t quite as funny when she was 21. When she turned 25 it stopped being funny altogether. That’s when she first made the comment about us being the same age again on my birthday. I was confused. That’s when I made my mistake. While still in a state of confusion, I stated a fact. I pointed out she is always 3 weeks older than I am—not just during the time between our birthdays. I wasn’t teasing her, just stating a fact.

I learned that is a fact she doesn’t enjoy and doesn’t want to hear—ever! She let out a small, stunned gasp (that very clearly communicated “how dare you”), so I apologized. I’ve never mentioned it again. She mentions it, but I never do. However, I do THINK it. Somehow she knows. Well, not exactly. But when I do think it, she always asks “What are you thinking? I don’t like that twinkle in your eye (or occasionally “that smile on your face”). I know you’re thinking something.” By “something”, of course she means something she would not like. LOL

The only thing I can do in that situation is ADMIT NOTHING! I simply smile and say "Oh, nothing". She is smiling when she asks the question. I think it is better to keep it that way rather than telling her. Right??? That way we’re both smiling. And shouldn't she just be happy to see me smile anyway? LOL

It’s funny how little things can make a person feel old. In my wife’s case it’s those 3 weeks. For some people it’s being called sir or ma’am. Me? I received a sign I was getting old. I was having dinner with friends and as we were being seated I noticed a draft blowing on the table. I asked for a different table. Not a big deal. But later I remembered I used to joke about my father doing that same thing. The man would take a tour of the entire place until he found a spot with no draft. Now I’m starting to do it. Next thing you know I’ll be writing crazy “Grandpa Simpson-style” letters to the local newspaper. I’ve had a good run, but it’s all downhill from here.

PS - Just for the record, “ma’am” is NOT polite speak for “hey old lady”. I don’t know why it bothers some women. It’s simply a sign of respect for the wonderful person you are. Take it as a compliment! The first time I was called sir it amused me—I was a school safety patrol and a boy in kindergarten called me sir. He was so serious ("Excuse me sir...). Very cute!