My grandmother, the one I lived with off-and-on when I was little, was born in May. So this time of year I find myself recalling fond memories of her a little more often than usual. I hope you have memories of a grandmother. Mine was a story teller.
She was one of 11 children. Her dad died when she was very young and her family was really poor. Their house was just a step above a shack. One of her jobs growing up was to walk along the train tracks near her house and pick up pieces of coal. Her family used the coal to cook and to heat their house in the winter. Even today, coal falls out of the coal cars as the trains rumble along.
I was 6 or 7 when she told me about the coal. It got me thinking. What if we got snowed in and needed to heat our house? What would we do? I grabbed a bucket and started walking the rails, collecting coal. I piled the nuggets in the nook of a hollowed-out tree and promptly forgot about them. A year later I stumbled across them and was embarrassed--my parent's house had oil heat and no fireplace. There was absolutely no way to burn coal in their house without burning it down. It was silly of me to collect it in the first place! But then I got an idea. I piled really heavy sandstones on top of the coal. Then all I had to do was wait.
Not long after that I was working in the woods with my dad. He noticed the pile of stones and asked if I knew why it was there. Instead of sharing the embarrassing reason why I had I gathered the coal, I shared why I put heavy sandstones on top of it--I was a little proud. I told him I was making diamonds for Mom and Nanny!!! (That's what we called my grandmother)
I had no idea why he sighed and shook his head. Maybe he wanted a diamond too. ;P
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Favorite Barbecue Sauce???
For the past month or so I've been trying different barbecue sauces in hopes of finding a new favorite. So far no luck. We used Sweet Baby Ray's for quite a while, but I don't like it anymore.
Any suggestions? Do you have a favorite barbecue sauce??? Or perhaps a secret family recipe you'd like to share? I promise not to tell anyone about it. It'll be our secret!!!
My mom had a great recipe, but I have no idea what was in it. I only know I used to cut fresh mint for my dad to use to brush it on whatever he was grilling. She probably got the recipe from the back of a worcestershire sauce bottle...or perhaps worcester sauce. =)
It's Memorial Day weekend in the US, a time for barbecues, honoring those who have given their lives for our country, and paying respects to deceased loved ones. Weather permitting, I like to carry on my dad's tradition of sprucing up our family gravesites on M-Day, making sure the markers remain visible. It's a small thing, but important.
Have a good weekend!
PS - With summer about to return to the northern hemisphere, we're seeing the usual increase in petty street crime in DC--mostly teens snatching phones, iPods, etc. That made my commute home tonight more exciting than it needed to be, When you're out, remember to pay at least as much attention to your surroundings as to your gadgets.
Any suggestions? Do you have a favorite barbecue sauce??? Or perhaps a secret family recipe you'd like to share? I promise not to tell anyone about it. It'll be our secret!!!
My mom had a great recipe, but I have no idea what was in it. I only know I used to cut fresh mint for my dad to use to brush it on whatever he was grilling. She probably got the recipe from the back of a worcestershire sauce bottle...or perhaps worcester sauce. =)
It's Memorial Day weekend in the US, a time for barbecues, honoring those who have given their lives for our country, and paying respects to deceased loved ones. Weather permitting, I like to carry on my dad's tradition of sprucing up our family gravesites on M-Day, making sure the markers remain visible. It's a small thing, but important.
Have a good weekend!
PS - With summer about to return to the northern hemisphere, we're seeing the usual increase in petty street crime in DC--mostly teens snatching phones, iPods, etc. That made my commute home tonight more exciting than it needed to be, When you're out, remember to pay at least as much attention to your surroundings as to your gadgets.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Things I Suck At
Drawing, sewing, painting--anything that requires good "fine-motor" skills. It could be that I don't have the patience to practice/develop the skills, but I don't think that's it. Especially considering the patience I showed as a kid spending hours learning to balance on top of a barrel while rolling it around the neighborhood with my feet--a useful skill if I'd grown up to be a circus bear. ;P
I also don't do well in one-way relationships, of any kind. I believe that friends don't keep score and 50/50 is an unreasonable myth--all relationships naturally ebb and flow. But when it becomes completely one-sided, eventually I stop putting in effort. And by "eventually", I mean when I notice (which can take a while).
I used to be fairly close with one of my sisters. She's 9 years older, but once I got out on my own we never went more than a few weeks without one of us calling the other (that's as close as it gets in my family). Then she started calling more often because she thought her hubby was cheating. We talked a lot and she cried a lot. Before long the crisis passed and we went back to talking just every few weeks.
Three years later I realized she hadn't called me in three years! I was the only one working at keeping in touch. Maybe she was embarrassed I knew what happened? (no one else did) Maybe she was embarrassed about crying? (after all, we are German) I decided to ask her about it. At first she denied it and then had a dozen excuses--none of which kept her from keeping in touch with our 2 sisters. So while 50/50 is a myth, I decided it was time to give my sister a chance to keep in touch with me. Our only contact since then has revolved around our dad's estate.
My wife is pleased about it because that sister got hit by both of our family curses--she lost her sense of humor and became extremely arrogant. She now hates it when she's not the smartest person in the room, so naturally having me around is difficult for her. LOL! We'll see what the future brings.
How patient are you with family and friends who expect you to do all the heavy lifting in maintaining the relationship???
PS - When a friendship becomes completely one-sided, I think it's called stalking. So it's good to move on--and much more quickly than I did with my sister. =)
I also don't do well in one-way relationships, of any kind. I believe that friends don't keep score and 50/50 is an unreasonable myth--all relationships naturally ebb and flow. But when it becomes completely one-sided, eventually I stop putting in effort. And by "eventually", I mean when I notice (which can take a while).
I used to be fairly close with one of my sisters. She's 9 years older, but once I got out on my own we never went more than a few weeks without one of us calling the other (that's as close as it gets in my family). Then she started calling more often because she thought her hubby was cheating. We talked a lot and she cried a lot. Before long the crisis passed and we went back to talking just every few weeks.
Three years later I realized she hadn't called me in three years! I was the only one working at keeping in touch. Maybe she was embarrassed I knew what happened? (no one else did) Maybe she was embarrassed about crying? (after all, we are German) I decided to ask her about it. At first she denied it and then had a dozen excuses--none of which kept her from keeping in touch with our 2 sisters. So while 50/50 is a myth, I decided it was time to give my sister a chance to keep in touch with me. Our only contact since then has revolved around our dad's estate.
My wife is pleased about it because that sister got hit by both of our family curses--she lost her sense of humor and became extremely arrogant. She now hates it when she's not the smartest person in the room, so naturally having me around is difficult for her. LOL! We'll see what the future brings.
How patient are you with family and friends who expect you to do all the heavy lifting in maintaining the relationship???
PS - When a friendship becomes completely one-sided, I think it's called stalking. So it's good to move on--and much more quickly than I did with my sister. =)
Friday, May 18, 2012
Heading out on my own...
I tried my hand at running away from home only once, I was 5 or 6. Several other times I stowed away in the backseat of my oldest sister's car, but that wasn't running away. That was hoping for a sleep-over.
It was triggered by a little thing. I got caught retaliating against an older sibling and was the only one to get in trouble. Does being told you will be sent to your room immediately after dinner count as getting in trouble? More so back then versus today (the only electronic device in the room was the light fixture on the ceiling). In any case, I was offended and made plans to escape after dinner, no point in hitting the road on an empty stomach.
The plan was to go to my room and then climb out the window. My room was on the 1st floor, but since our basement windows were above ground on that side of the house, it was too high to just jump (for a six-year-old). So before dinner I took an old sliding-board ladder from behind our shed and placed it under my window. Then I gathered a few keepsakes and placed them inside a kerchief, tied it up at the corners and attached it to a stick--my hobo bag. LOL! I was going to ride the rails. But unlike a true hobo, I was going to have money. I was taking my plastic Mickey Mouse bank. It was shaped like a book, so no one would even know I had money. (Note: It was made out of hard plastic, contained only coins, and made a terrible racket when I moved it--but still, I thought it would be my secret.)
With everything in place, after dinner I dutifully marched off to my bedroom--which was on the other side of a wall from the dining room. As I carefully unlocked and pushed up the screen, I heard a sister ask "What's he doing in there?" ("Perfect", I thought, "They have no idea what I'm doing.") I grabbed my stuff, scampered down the ladder, and headed towards the railroad tracks. That took me past our dining room windows and SOMEHOW my family saw me. I could hear them, "What's he doing? He's outside!" ("Ha, they still haven't figured it out!!!" I told myself.) I made a run for it as 3 of my siblings came out the backdoor. The sister who once encouraged me to leave, sat quietly finishing her dinner. ;P
They cut off my route to the train tracks, but I "showed them a leg" (according to my dad, old football slang for faking one direction and going another), zigged and zagged and headed for the woods. With all the changes in direction, I'm not sure how far I ran, but they cornered me about 50 yards from home. As they escorted me back to the house I noticed the secret slide on my plastic bank was open and I'd lost my grubstake. Broke! It would be a while before I could try again.
Of course I never tried again. I was only melodramatic enough to attempt that once. And running away, well, I quickly learned it just wasn't for me.
So, did you ever think about running away when you were a child? Have your kids tried it???
It was triggered by a little thing. I got caught retaliating against an older sibling and was the only one to get in trouble. Does being told you will be sent to your room immediately after dinner count as getting in trouble? More so back then versus today (the only electronic device in the room was the light fixture on the ceiling). In any case, I was offended and made plans to escape after dinner, no point in hitting the road on an empty stomach.
The plan was to go to my room and then climb out the window. My room was on the 1st floor, but since our basement windows were above ground on that side of the house, it was too high to just jump (for a six-year-old). So before dinner I took an old sliding-board ladder from behind our shed and placed it under my window. Then I gathered a few keepsakes and placed them inside a kerchief, tied it up at the corners and attached it to a stick--my hobo bag. LOL! I was going to ride the rails. But unlike a true hobo, I was going to have money. I was taking my plastic Mickey Mouse bank. It was shaped like a book, so no one would even know I had money. (Note: It was made out of hard plastic, contained only coins, and made a terrible racket when I moved it--but still, I thought it would be my secret.)
With everything in place, after dinner I dutifully marched off to my bedroom--which was on the other side of a wall from the dining room. As I carefully unlocked and pushed up the screen, I heard a sister ask "What's he doing in there?" ("Perfect", I thought, "They have no idea what I'm doing.") I grabbed my stuff, scampered down the ladder, and headed towards the railroad tracks. That took me past our dining room windows and SOMEHOW my family saw me. I could hear them, "What's he doing? He's outside!" ("Ha, they still haven't figured it out!!!" I told myself.) I made a run for it as 3 of my siblings came out the backdoor. The sister who once encouraged me to leave, sat quietly finishing her dinner. ;P
They cut off my route to the train tracks, but I "showed them a leg" (according to my dad, old football slang for faking one direction and going another), zigged and zagged and headed for the woods. With all the changes in direction, I'm not sure how far I ran, but they cornered me about 50 yards from home. As they escorted me back to the house I noticed the secret slide on my plastic bank was open and I'd lost my grubstake. Broke! It would be a while before I could try again.
Of course I never tried again. I was only melodramatic enough to attempt that once. And running away, well, I quickly learned it just wasn't for me.
So, did you ever think about running away when you were a child? Have your kids tried it???
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Salt of the Earth???
My boss quit. The one who tried to hire someone else for the job I've been acting in for 7 months. She was actually my boss' boss, but I'm acting in my boss' job. Anyway, she's gone and her 2nd attempt to recruit someone else has been cancelled. I don't know what this means for my future with the organization. But I'm puzzled over something she said.
She called me a "salt of the earth guy". Or was it a "salting the earth kind of guy"??? ;P No, I'm pretty sure it was the first one. But I'm not sure what she meant. Most people in the organization assume she doesn't like me--because they also thought I was the best choice to move up. More than one person asked me if I killed her dog or did something else personal to get on her bad side. As far as I know, nothing like that happened.
I thought the expression had a positive meaning, but didn't know what it meant (exactly). After googling it, I still don't. I came across Bible references--something about losing flavor, being good for nothing and getting cast out.
So what did she mean, this person who others think doesn't like me? Are you familiar with the expression? Would you take it as a compliment???
She called me a "salt of the earth guy". Or was it a "salting the earth kind of guy"??? ;P No, I'm pretty sure it was the first one. But I'm not sure what she meant. Most people in the organization assume she doesn't like me--because they also thought I was the best choice to move up. More than one person asked me if I killed her dog or did something else personal to get on her bad side. As far as I know, nothing like that happened.
I thought the expression had a positive meaning, but didn't know what it meant (exactly). After googling it, I still don't. I came across Bible references--something about losing flavor, being good for nothing and getting cast out.
So what did she mean, this person who others think doesn't like me? Are you familiar with the expression? Would you take it as a compliment???
Friday, May 11, 2012
A Grandmother Story
I spent a lot of time with my grandma. She was mostly a no-nonsense type who believed in hard work. But when she had time (and an audience), she enjoyed telling a story or two. One of my favorites is a story that seemed so out of character for her.
As a teenager she accepted a boy’s invitation to a church dance. The boy (not my grandpa) picked her up in a one horse-power buggy—the horse was pulling it. The road up to the church had a steep drop on one side and was a little icy that evening. Halfway up the hill, the horse lost its footing and fell. The buggy slid a little, but no harm was done. The boy got the horse to stand back up and everything was fine—except he was terribly embarrassed. I'm not sure why. Maybe that was equivalent of stalling your dad's car in front of a girl??? Anyway, he was upset and asked my grandma to please not tell anyone about it. She promised she wouldn’t.
Once at the dance, two seconds inside the door, she loudly exclaimed, “Oh Lord, it was awful! We almost didn’t make it. Billy’s horse fell and the buggy nearly rolled down the hill!!!” But it really didn't—and Billy was humiliated.
How could my sweet little grandma do that to the poor guy?
Then I had a creepy thought. She wasn’t my grandma when she did that—she was a girl. A teenage girl!!! My grandma…a real person! That was almost as shocking a realization as the first time I saw one of my teachers in a store (“What’s SHE doing here? Teachers shop???”). The horrors that await 7 year-olds! ;P
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and grandmothers out there! Hope you have a great weekend.
As a teenager she accepted a boy’s invitation to a church dance. The boy (not my grandpa) picked her up in a one horse-power buggy—the horse was pulling it. The road up to the church had a steep drop on one side and was a little icy that evening. Halfway up the hill, the horse lost its footing and fell. The buggy slid a little, but no harm was done. The boy got the horse to stand back up and everything was fine—except he was terribly embarrassed. I'm not sure why. Maybe that was equivalent of stalling your dad's car in front of a girl??? Anyway, he was upset and asked my grandma to please not tell anyone about it. She promised she wouldn’t.
Once at the dance, two seconds inside the door, she loudly exclaimed, “Oh Lord, it was awful! We almost didn’t make it. Billy’s horse fell and the buggy nearly rolled down the hill!!!” But it really didn't—and Billy was humiliated.
How could my sweet little grandma do that to the poor guy?
Then I had a creepy thought. She wasn’t my grandma when she did that—she was a girl. A teenage girl!!! My grandma…a real person! That was almost as shocking a realization as the first time I saw one of my teachers in a store (“What’s SHE doing here? Teachers shop???”). The horrors that await 7 year-olds! ;P
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and grandmothers out there! Hope you have a great weekend.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Stalked at Midnight
Exchanging tweets with a nice lady at Flo Tea Room reminded me I have another stalking story I want to share. She asked if I had to fight off other suitors when I first met my wife. There actually was a confrontation or two (teenagers!), but this stalking story was the first thing that popped into my head (and the scumbag story).
Some readers know I worked at a burger joint while I was in high school and I walked home after work (about 6 kilometers). I alternated between two routes. When I wanted a little excitement, I took the route that often had roving dogs. I smelled like a burger and...well, I'm sure you can imagine. Rainy and snowy nights had a silver lining--the smell didn't carry as far. LOL! That Saturday night (Sunday morning, actually) I took the boring route.
When I made a right to cut through a subdivision, I saw a shadow a few blocks behind me. Another soul without a car. I kept walking and decided to cross the street in front of the YMCA. It was at the crest of a hill and from there I could easily see cars approaching. As I crossed the street, I checked for traffic and noticed the shadow was still with me--and just one block away now. A few blocks later I looked back and saw the shadow had also crossed the street and gotten closer. I knew what I needed to do. I turned around.
As I walked back towards the fellow, I could see he was taller than I was (why are they almost always big?).
Me: Nice night for a walk (annoyed tone).
Shadow: Uh, yeah, I guess.
I walked past him so he'd have to turn around and I could see his face in the streetlight. It was a guy from school, a member of my GF's socially awkward fan club (4 friends who'd all had a crush on her long beore I met her).
Me: So are you planning to follow me all the way home?
Shadow: What? No! I mean...I'm not following you.
Me: You've been walking in my footsteps for almost a mile.
Shadow: You're dating Kathy Smith, aren't you?
Me: Yes!
Shadow: Is it serious?
Me: It's too late for you to be out walking around. You need to go home, now.
Shadow: Okay, see you in school!
And off he went. Clearly I was never in any danger during that stalking event (and yes, I almost always acted like I was 40 during my teen years). It just gives me something to tease my wife about--the night one of her admirers came after me. LOL! When I do tease her about it, she always points out they were nice boys. And I remind her I'm not the one who used to run into the bathroom to hide from them--she was socially awkward too and didn't know how to tell them no when they wanted to ask her out. So she hid.
I can never say this too often...teenagers!!! ;P
Some readers know I worked at a burger joint while I was in high school and I walked home after work (about 6 kilometers). I alternated between two routes. When I wanted a little excitement, I took the route that often had roving dogs. I smelled like a burger and...well, I'm sure you can imagine. Rainy and snowy nights had a silver lining--the smell didn't carry as far. LOL! That Saturday night (Sunday morning, actually) I took the boring route.
When I made a right to cut through a subdivision, I saw a shadow a few blocks behind me. Another soul without a car. I kept walking and decided to cross the street in front of the YMCA. It was at the crest of a hill and from there I could easily see cars approaching. As I crossed the street, I checked for traffic and noticed the shadow was still with me--and just one block away now. A few blocks later I looked back and saw the shadow had also crossed the street and gotten closer. I knew what I needed to do. I turned around.
As I walked back towards the fellow, I could see he was taller than I was (why are they almost always big?).
Me: Nice night for a walk (annoyed tone).
Shadow: Uh, yeah, I guess.
I walked past him so he'd have to turn around and I could see his face in the streetlight. It was a guy from school, a member of my GF's socially awkward fan club (4 friends who'd all had a crush on her long beore I met her).
Me: So are you planning to follow me all the way home?
Shadow: What? No! I mean...I'm not following you.
Me: You've been walking in my footsteps for almost a mile.
Shadow: You're dating Kathy Smith, aren't you?
Me: Yes!
Shadow: Is it serious?
Me: It's too late for you to be out walking around. You need to go home, now.
Shadow: Okay, see you in school!
And off he went. Clearly I was never in any danger during that stalking event (and yes, I almost always acted like I was 40 during my teen years). It just gives me something to tease my wife about--the night one of her admirers came after me. LOL! When I do tease her about it, she always points out they were nice boys. And I remind her I'm not the one who used to run into the bathroom to hide from them--she was socially awkward too and didn't know how to tell them no when they wanted to ask her out. So she hid.
I can never say this too often...teenagers!!! ;P
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Déjà Two
This post also could be called "don't judge a book by its cover".
In '09/'10 I attended 2 one-week conferences out of state, one in the fall, one the following spring. At the first, I set out to spend time with every attendee--either partnering with them in group exercises, talking with them during meals, something. By Thursday evening I needed alone time and decided to have dinner off campus at an Irish restaurant. As I headed out the front door of the hotel, I bumped into the person I'd talked to the least. She was very controlled, never showing any sort of reaction to anything. It was off-putting. She asked if I was meeting people. I told her no, I was going to the Irish restaurant alone. She was headed there too and invited me to join her. My mind spun looking for a tactful way to say no. I accepted. She drove.
Once there, she talked about her dad liking Irish food. She also mentioned he was hard to please. I could see the thought wasn't pleasant, so in attempt to be comforting (not one-upping) I shared a funny ancedote about my dad. She smiled and then her dam burst. She shared her life story, she cried. We talked for hours. I shared a few short stories, we talked about her dad's behavior, and by the end of dinner she was smiling and laughing. The next day she was completely different in class. She gave me her card so we could keep in touch. We tried, but I made her nervous and whatever was going on in her life always just spilled out, unfiltered. Then she'd laugh (nervously) and say, "Well, you'd just get it out of me anyway." We no longer keep in touch.
At the next conference (same location), I didn't go out of my way to interact. After class on Thursday I noticed people forming groups to go to dinner. I wanted to dine alone at the Irish restaurant, so I headed to the computer lab. A few minutes later a classmate joined me--it was the perky girl. I could feel her looking at me, but I pretended not to notice. Finally she asked what I was doing for dinner--she didn't want to eat in the cafeteria. I told her I was going to the Irish place. She said she didn't like Irish food. I told her it wasn't for everyone and suggested the cafeteria might have something she liked that night. She went off to check and I smiled inside. In 2 minutes she was back, to say she didn't like the menu. She just stood there, digging her toe into the carpet like a little girl. I caved, I asked if she wanted to join me. She smiled her perky smile and said yes. I told her she was driving.
Once there, she mentioned her mom had passed away recently and she was upset with herself for not checking on the woman sooner. I shared a very short version of my "mom passing away" story. Then her dam burst. She shared her life story, she cried. We talked for hours...almost exactly what happened last time. In the same restaurant!?! What are the odds???
The super-controlled ice princess and the super-perky girl seemed to have nothing in common. And yet they were the same--both walking around in pain and didn't feel they could talk to any of their family or friends. But they could talk to a stranger. Sometimes that's easier.
Regardless of the face they show the world, you never know what the person next to you is going through. So, as you've read before, be kinder than necessary.
PS - Next time, Thai food!!! :P
In '09/'10 I attended 2 one-week conferences out of state, one in the fall, one the following spring. At the first, I set out to spend time with every attendee--either partnering with them in group exercises, talking with them during meals, something. By Thursday evening I needed alone time and decided to have dinner off campus at an Irish restaurant. As I headed out the front door of the hotel, I bumped into the person I'd talked to the least. She was very controlled, never showing any sort of reaction to anything. It was off-putting. She asked if I was meeting people. I told her no, I was going to the Irish restaurant alone. She was headed there too and invited me to join her. My mind spun looking for a tactful way to say no. I accepted. She drove.
Once there, she talked about her dad liking Irish food. She also mentioned he was hard to please. I could see the thought wasn't pleasant, so in attempt to be comforting (not one-upping) I shared a funny ancedote about my dad. She smiled and then her dam burst. She shared her life story, she cried. We talked for hours. I shared a few short stories, we talked about her dad's behavior, and by the end of dinner she was smiling and laughing. The next day she was completely different in class. She gave me her card so we could keep in touch. We tried, but I made her nervous and whatever was going on in her life always just spilled out, unfiltered. Then she'd laugh (nervously) and say, "Well, you'd just get it out of me anyway." We no longer keep in touch.
At the next conference (same location), I didn't go out of my way to interact. After class on Thursday I noticed people forming groups to go to dinner. I wanted to dine alone at the Irish restaurant, so I headed to the computer lab. A few minutes later a classmate joined me--it was the perky girl. I could feel her looking at me, but I pretended not to notice. Finally she asked what I was doing for dinner--she didn't want to eat in the cafeteria. I told her I was going to the Irish place. She said she didn't like Irish food. I told her it wasn't for everyone and suggested the cafeteria might have something she liked that night. She went off to check and I smiled inside. In 2 minutes she was back, to say she didn't like the menu. She just stood there, digging her toe into the carpet like a little girl. I caved, I asked if she wanted to join me. She smiled her perky smile and said yes. I told her she was driving.
Once there, she mentioned her mom had passed away recently and she was upset with herself for not checking on the woman sooner. I shared a very short version of my "mom passing away" story. Then her dam burst. She shared her life story, she cried. We talked for hours...almost exactly what happened last time. In the same restaurant!?! What are the odds???
The super-controlled ice princess and the super-perky girl seemed to have nothing in common. And yet they were the same--both walking around in pain and didn't feel they could talk to any of their family or friends. But they could talk to a stranger. Sometimes that's easier.
Regardless of the face they show the world, you never know what the person next to you is going through. So, as you've read before, be kinder than necessary.
PS - Next time, Thai food!!! :P
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