Trusted Authority Figure

Note: At first my wife did not want me to share this story. She thought it made her look "dumb"--but being naive @ 15 is pretty normal.

In my youth, I trusted only a small circle of friends. I was wary of others and kept an eye on people, always aware of who was around. Sizing them up. I was respectful, but trust was a different story. My wife often tells me that I've gotten more trusting over the years (too trusting, to use her exact words). But I go with my gut reaction when I meet people face-to-face (something about micro-expressions and your subconscious). I have been accurate reading men. As for women...well, on with the story. ;P

When I started dating my wife (@ 15) I was still in my suspicious phase, but also fairly mature for my age. She says I was 15 going on 40. One day she informed me she was going to visit her former (9th grade) science teacher after school (we were in 10th). The junior high he taught at was only a quarter mile from the high school, so she planned to walk.

Being who I was (and am, in this case), I didn't like the idea of her walking there alone and roaming around a mostly empty school. I also didn't like the sound of some of the things she said the teacher had said to her the previous year. It tickled my spidey sense. Maybe I'd seen too many after-school specials, but I went with her to visit the teacher.

I took one look at him and knew he was scum. He went to give her a hug, so I stepped between them to introduce myself and shake his hand. I engaged him in conversation--and stayed between them. My GF was so mad at me later. Apparently, I didn't hide my opinion of him. He was her favorite teacher and I was being a jerk.

She told people that story about me for years. But she left out a key part of the story--she didn't even tell me until recently. She forgot, then casually mentioned it one day, as if I knew. A few weeks after our visit to the 40 year-old teacher, he sent my 15 year-old GF a letter. He told her she was very special and he'd always hoped they could be together. But after seeing her with me, he knew that wasn't going to happen. He just wanted her to know how he felt about her. WTHeck???

She says she was so naive, she didn't realize what the letter meant--and she never told anyone about it. She didn't realize guys don't write letters like that to say goodbye to people they like. They write them to say, "Hey, I love you and we should be together." Thankfully she never visited him again. Maybe she did know what he was up to, but didn't want to acknowledge it.

Did I mention she was 15 and he was 40??? Maybe nothing bad would have happened to her if I had just gone home that day. But still, he was scum, masquerading as a trusted authority figure. That happens far too often. I don't want to encourage distrust, but I DO want to encourage caution. We can't ignore the fact that there are bad teachers, bad police officers, bad priests, bad people (in any profession) out there. I'm tempted to say "trust no one!". But that's too extreme. There are plenty of good people.

I know my blog friends are smart. So be yourself, trust your instincts, and if you find you trusted the wrong person (as my wife did), don't.blame.yourself!!! And when you discover the person is a jerk, don't keep it a secret--tell everyone!


Also, if you're a 28 year-old, 260 pound, former football player and you see a coach taking advantage of a little boy, don't walk away--PUT A STOP TO IT!!!

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."