Family Curse

Are there things that your family, in general, is really good at? Or really bad at? It could be anything. My family has both. I’ve worked to improve the bad, but one thing seems to be catching up to me. I think it may be the cause of my writer’s block. My family is almost universally bad at telling stories. If you think the knock-knock joke I wrote (when I was SIX) was bad, you should hear what passes for interesting at my family gatherings.

Rick: Hi Jim (no, not that one ;P). Anything interesting happen lately?
Jim: I cut a branch off the tree in my backyard. I didn’t have a pruning saw, so I used a regular handsaw.
Rick: Was the branch damaged or getting too big?
Jim: No, but the funniest thing happened. When my neighbor noticed me in the yard, he came over and said, “You know, that’s the wrong saw. You should be using a pruning saw.” I said, “I know, but I don’t have a pruning saw.” So then he went in his house. About 5 minutes later he comes back out.
Rick: Did he bring you a pruning saw?
Jim: No, he just sat there on his back porch. Why do you ask?

Jim told me “the funniest thing happened”. Did it? Is it me? Did I miss the funny part—and the point—of the story???

And there is the uncle (by marriage—the curse affects in-laws too) who has told me 250 times that his grandfather was from Saskatoon and the man once told him, “There are 2 types of Dutchmen—smart Dutchmen and stupid Dutchman.” And then he laughs (a-hent, a-hent, a-hent).

Why does he laugh about that? What was the point? At least he laughs about something.

Now I can feel myself becoming one of them (one of THEM!!!). What little story-telling ability I had is slipping away. Maybe it’s related to the fall lunar cycle—and temporary. The moon WILL be full tomorrow.

Just my luck! I don’t get a cool family curse that turns me into a werewolf (or an Aswang) a few nights a month. I get to be Toby (from The Office).

{sigh}