Despite what Eek said ("It never hurts to help."), sometimes it DOES hurt to help.
I have a co-worker who annoys me a lot. I don't like her. Never have. It's the lady who showed me how smart she was by explaining (3 times) why she buys value meals instead of getting the items ala carte. It's because the value meals are less expensive than buying the items individually. Who would have guessed? That's actually not an example of why she annoys me. It's her attitude towards her work. She does the minimum, interrupts people (with dumb stories) who are trying to work and wants to be praised for it. The result is I have no patience for her.
Anyway, a few years ago her mom passed away. She and her mom lived together and shared expenses. So in addition to dealing with the loss of her mom, she started having money problems (which were resolved once her mom's estate was closed, but that took time). I felt like I should do something to help--anonymously. So late one evening after everyone was gone, I slipped money into an envelope and put it under her keyboard.
You know from the first paragraph that she's not the brightest person. But she is...I'm not sure what to call it...cunning? No. But somehow she knew the money was from me and not from the office in general. She thanked me, but I denied it and I know I didn't even show a hint of acknowledgement that she was right. It shouldn't have mattered either way. But it did.
Over the next few months she came to me three times with tales of woe about needing money for this or that. That would be fine, but she also gave me that look of expectation. That she was telling me so I would give her money. I did not. I only gave her advice. The first two times she left looking disappointed. The 3rd time it happened she gave me a dirty look when she realized no money would be changing hands.
That made me mad...and made me not want to help people.
For about a week. Then I got over it. We're supposed to help people. But that doesn't have to include people who annoy us, right? Right???
I have a co-worker who annoys me a lot. I don't like her. Never have. It's the lady who showed me how smart she was by explaining (3 times) why she buys value meals instead of getting the items ala carte. It's because the value meals are less expensive than buying the items individually. Who would have guessed? That's actually not an example of why she annoys me. It's her attitude towards her work. She does the minimum, interrupts people (with dumb stories) who are trying to work and wants to be praised for it. The result is I have no patience for her.
Anyway, a few years ago her mom passed away. She and her mom lived together and shared expenses. So in addition to dealing with the loss of her mom, she started having money problems (which were resolved once her mom's estate was closed, but that took time). I felt like I should do something to help--anonymously. So late one evening after everyone was gone, I slipped money into an envelope and put it under her keyboard.
You know from the first paragraph that she's not the brightest person. But she is...I'm not sure what to call it...cunning? No. But somehow she knew the money was from me and not from the office in general. She thanked me, but I denied it and I know I didn't even show a hint of acknowledgement that she was right. It shouldn't have mattered either way. But it did.
Over the next few months she came to me three times with tales of woe about needing money for this or that. That would be fine, but she also gave me that look of expectation. That she was telling me so I would give her money. I did not. I only gave her advice. The first two times she left looking disappointed. The 3rd time it happened she gave me a dirty look when she realized no money would be changing hands.
That made me mad...and made me not want to help people.
For about a week. Then I got over it. We're supposed to help people. But that doesn't have to include people who annoy us, right? Right???
Whaattttt? That's just a manipulative person right there. No wonder why you don't like her. I can't stand people like that. I'm glad you stood your ground and didn't give in to her tales of manipulation
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew how she figured out it was me--I was really careful and I've still never admitted it.
DeleteI can be a little stubborn. Me admitting that probably means I'm a LOT stubborn. :D But when people expect me to do something, that makes me not want to do it. Especially if I think the person is being selfish or pushy.
First, anyone who needs to explain why a value meal is a better value, is just annoying, haha. I mean it's called a VALUE meal. Ok anyway... I'm SOO impressed that you gave her money. You're such a nice and generous person. I'm not sure anyone I know would have done the same thing, especially for someone you don't even really like.
ReplyDeleteShe, on the other hand, is not a very good person. She was trying to manipulate you out of more money!? Terrible. I've always felt that people who expect charity, most likely don't deserve it.
xo, Yi-chia
In that situation/circumstance, I know you would do the same thing. It's sad when someone loses their mom and to have money trouble on top of that... Anyway, you're right about her. I keep my distance.
DeleteWhat an appalling story, Rick. It just shows that people's true nature always comes through in the end. Your true nature is to be a giving, kind person. In spite of the fact this person took advantage of that, after a week you were back to feeling like you wanted to help people. Excluding her, of course. Her true nature is selfishness and greed, and she couldn't seem to stop herself from either one.
ReplyDeleteIt's my grandmother's fault (my dad's too). She often had me do things for people (shovel snow, carry groceries, little things) when they needed help. It was just part of everyday life. A part that I don't see much anymore in DC. BUT, blogging has helped me connect with great people who...well, people who my grandmother would like very much (particularly a certain expat). :)
DeleteRIGHT!!!!!
ReplyDeleteJust the answer I was hoping (asking) for!!!
DeleteThank you! :D
This lady is not just annoying, she is disgusting. I don't like how she expects you to help her out and when you don't, shot you dirty looks. I agree wholeheartedly that we should only help people who are not nasty.
ReplyDeleteShe's a less smooth version of my step-mom--she has lived off the kindness of others most of her life. I would write a post about that, but I had a chance to kick her to the curb after my dad died and instead I chose to follow my dad's wishes and take care of her. My siblings are still mad at me about that.
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