Meeting the In-Laws

My friend Kristie recently blogged about the first time she met her in-laws.  That inspired me to do the same.  Unfortunately my experience doesn't make for quite as good a story...but here goes.


As I've mentioned too often, my wife and I started "dating" when we were 15.  The "dating" consisted of holding hands in school and meeting at the roller skating rink on Friday nights.  Being teenagers, neither of us mentioned anything to our respective parents.  Her younger sister ratted us out and her parents wanted to meet "that boy."  They were angry.

My parents worried she might distract me from school.  They didn't know she was girlfriend #5.  I didn't share much.  I wouldn't have told them about "this one," but I needed a ride.  I had an invitation to a New Year's day dinner that I couldn't refuse.

I also had hair down to my shoulders--every parent's dream for their daughters.  I'd met my future father-in-law once, before the "dating" started.  He had a reputation for being surly and he was huge.  But, like most parents, he liked me (for some reason, despite the hair).  That was before I started dating his daughter.  Before he was mad she had a boyfriend.  Before he wanted to meet "that boy.

On New Year's I was prepared to enter a hostile environment and remain polite.  That was important when they served dinner.  Their food was weird!  My wife asked if I wanted potato salad.  I said yes, but didn't see it anywhere.  She started putting yellow mashed potatoes (with little green things in it?) on my plate.  Next she offered green beans and asked if I wanted fatback.  Having never heard of fatback, I said no thank you.  The offer of chow-chow almost broke me--I didn't know that was also the name of a relish!

But there was no hostility.  They had questions, but just the normal questions people ask when getting to know each other.  The only bad thing that happened was my FIL got sick that night after eating oysters a friend had given him.  He had offered them to me, but I declined.  I've always been lucky...and not afraid to say "no thank you."

The visit went really well.  Disturbingly well.  I wondered what was wrong with those people.  They all talked to me and treated me like someone they'd known for a long time.  My siblings (not my parents) kind of snubbed new BFs/GFs (and sometimes spouses) for the first 2 or 3 (or 10) years.  I don't know if they wanted to make sure the person would be sticking around before putting in any effort or if the people had to somehow earn a place in the club.  It was weird (and rude).  But it was what I was used to seeing.

What were my future in-laws up to?  What was their angle???  Looking back, I realize that's just who they were.  They accepted people and treated newcomers well.  They were normal (only in that one way).  And they liked me.  I was "in" right from the start.  Part of the family.

In fact, I was so "in", my future mother-in-law started nailing the door shut behind me.  I had no idea.


PS - My wife really misses the good old days when my siblings didn't talk to her.  LOL