In my youth, pregnant women made me uncomfortable. The more pregnant, the more uncomfortable. Is it rude to look at the belly? Is it rude not to look? What if she asks me to touch her belly? What if she goes into labor? I mastered the hasty retreat.
It got easier when my sisters and sisters-in-law started having babies--I always knew when they were due and when to start avoiding them. LOL! As with anything unfamiliar, the more pregnant women I encountered, the more comfortable I became. Eventually becoming an expectant father myself washed away almost all of my lingering discomfort. However, gatherings that include more than 4 pregnant women (like every baby shower I've ever attended) still tend to weird me out a little. Or maybe it was the 5,000 two-year olds (I may be exaggerating a little on the number). And I never initiate touching pregnant bellies. It's too personal. So unless the mom-to-be grabs my hand, there will be no touching.
I haven't gotten to the confession part yet, that involves my wife. During her first pregnancy, she had a hard time sleeping with the swollen belly. She likes to roll-over onto her stomach and that was out of the question. In search of comfort, she started propping pillows on both sides of her belly. That didn't leave much room for me in our full-size bed. It was adventure sleeping--every night I was on the edge, hanging on for dear life. I wanted to sleep on the couch, but knew she would be offended ("You're calling me fat!!!"). So I tried the old, "I'm thinking of you" approach and told her I worried she wasn't getting enough sleep and might be more comfortable if I slept on the couch. That would work, right? It didn't work (the 10 or 12 times I tried it). She wanted her security blanket (me) within elbow(ing) range.
Eventually (10 years later???) I confessed my motives to her. Surprisingly, she wasn't offended--and it wasn't because so much time had passed. She said she couldn't be mad (in part) because I never seemed to notice the unflattering changes she experienced while pregnant and (mostly) because I was willing to shave her legs during month nine. I'd actually forgotten about (blocked out) that until she reminded me.
Now that I remember, I'm thinking that should get me a life-long get out of jail free card. Wish me luck as I attempt to test that belief.
And have a great weekend!!!
haha my husband sleeps on the edge as well... and we have a king bed. i guess i just migrate to his side of the bed naturally.
ReplyDeleteWe upgraded to a queen--and the queen still crowds me. :) Which sounds like it's normal. She says she can't sleep when I'm not there.
DeleteSo which part is TMI? Prolly TMI for your wife -- you shaved her legs for her! Aw! I think the lifetime card could have been handed to you if you also painted her toe nails. You only slept on a full bed? Crazy! Good team you are ;).
ReplyDeleteSince I would never tell this story to co-workers, it must be TMI. Although, I did edit out the specifics my wife would have objected to being shared.
DeleteI wish I felt that job rated an "aww", perhaps I will after more time has passed. lol! It was just one of those jobs you have to do, like cleaning up after a sick child. No one wants to do it, but someone has to! :)
When I'm pregnant, I totally want my husband to shave my legs for me. And paint my toenails. I've already mentioned this to him but he's refused. We'll see what happens when the time comes, haha.
ReplyDeleteTouching other people's pregnant bellies totally weirds me out. I would never want random people touching me!
xo, Yi-chia
Yes! Why do people think they can touch a woman's belly just because she's pregnant? I don't like that at all. As for what you hubby will or won't do, there's no way he can know for sure until the time comes. I would have said NO WAY, but when your wife needs help, it's difficult to stick to that. Maybe you won't need that type of help (but still, it is nice to be pampered :).
DeleteOh yes, not pointing out changes and shaving her legs for her will indeed earn you a life-long get out of jail free card!
ReplyDeleteHonestly if I were in that situation, I'd be weirded out by any man who wasn't my hubby touching my pregnant belly. And I wouldn't initiate it either...hehe.
(Bahahaha! That would be a GREAT deal. Oh and um...thanks for the compliment to him :P)
Haha, I really don't deserve much credit, it would be pretty low to criticize a pregnant woman--and it could be dangerous!
DeleteLoL, the poor things guys go through when their wives are pregnant. I already know that when/if I get pregnant, it will be an adventure for me and the mister.
ReplyDeleteI totally get the uncomfortable with touching people. I'm kinda like that with people in general and a baby belly is super personal space. It actually annoys me when people just go up and touch a woman's stomach without asking!
Hope you have a great weekend too!
It's the least we can do, our better halves are worth it...and men could never get through being pregnant themselves. :)
DeleteHmm... This makes me wonder what my kh would do if I were pregnant. That's very sweet of you to your wife but it isn't TMI eh?
ReplyDeleteI did a geography lesson in uni about pregnant woman! Why geography? Cos anything related to space is geog and the article discusses the pregnant woman and space. The space also include the belly. Like how some people seem to think a pregnant belly becomes a public space whereby even strangers would just ask if they could touch the belly. Interesting study!
That does sound interesting. I've wondered how the baby belly affects the mom's movements. Is it like carrying an over-sized bag and she accidentally hits people with it??? I edited out the more TMI stuff. :)
DeleteYou know... pregnant women kind of freak me out as well. Which shouldn't be the case as I know plenty of pregnant women. But it's so... alien
ReplyDeleteAlien??? It's a beautiful miracle! (But yeah, just between us, it's kind of alien and creepy :)
Deleteyeah Pregnancy used to freak me out on people, but then more of my friends gone through it and I'm okay with it now. Though it's prob a diff story when I became pregnant!!
ReplyDeleteIt's a million to one thing, but I do not want to be in a spot where I have to deliver a baby. If it happened, then I would have to. But I would definitely prefer not to...I think that's most of what freaks me out. I look forward to seeing your pregnancy glow. :)
DeleteYou really shouldn't touch unless the woman says so, I think!
ReplyDeleteAnd this post made me LOL a few times. xD
I don't want anyone touching me, so I try to return the favor!
ReplyDeleteHahaha Omg you had to shave her legs?! Sigh, I'm so not looking forward to the "glamour" of being pregnant
ReplyDeleteSome women glow and some...well, glow a little less. I approached it like any job, trying to be thorough without focusing TOO much on what I was actually doing--if that makes sense. lol
Delete