Crazy Russian Drivers

One evening John Stewart showed clips of wild traffic activity (like a tank going across a road) in Russia.  Apparently dash cameras are common there.  One clip showed two men facing off with a hatchet and a baseball bat after a minor collision.  My daughter wondered what kind of nut would have either in his car.  My wife started to laugh and I innocently whistled while looking at the ceiling.

Long ago...

I was driving my girl home after a date. We were 18. Like me, she lived in a secluded area, no street lights and lots of room between houses. As I made the turn into her neighborhood, police lights flashed behind us. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong. 

I looked in the rear view mirror as I pumped the brakes to stop.  In the red light, the car didn't look like a police car. I was suspicious, but not sure. I didn’t want to sit there and wait for a maniac to walk up to the car. I also didn’t want to drive off, leading a maniac to my girlfriend’s house—or have it appear I was running from the police. What to do??? I came up with a plan. Like my father, I kept a small baseball bat (and tools, water, a snow shovel, a blanket, etc) in my car, just in case. You never know what you’ll need.

I grabbed the bat and told my GF to get in the driver’s seat, keep the doors locked, and keep an eye on me in the mirror. If it wasn't a policeman, she should drive to a crowded place. {Why didn’t I do that? Kids!} Anyway, I got out of the car and walked at an angle towards the middle of the road and back towards the “police” car. I didn’t want to be too close to it. Soon I could see there were three people in the car, but not their faces.

Me: Is there a problem officer?
Guys in car: What are you doing with the bat?
Me: It depends if you’re policemen or not.
Guys in car: {lots of laughter}

The car’s interior light came on and I could see a friend of mine sitting in the back. He was out with two guys (who had a flashing light???) and convinced them to play a little joke when he spotted my car. We chatted for a few minutes. I told them they were lucky my dad wasn't driving my car because he would've shot them. He would NOT have done that, but I wanted to give them something to think about before they considered playing that potentially dangerous joke again.

Moral of the story: I was dumb--and lucky. I should have done what I wanted my GF to do—drive to a well lit, populated area. I hope none of you are ever in that position. But if you are, don’t get out of the car like I did—even if you do have a baseball bat with you.  :)


PS -  My dad taught me to be security conscious, to be aware of what’s going on and react to it. In my youth, some of the reactions were good and some...produced blog material.  Today, I still keep tools and water in the car, but no bat.  :)