Missy finds out she's pregnant. Word filters out to all of her family, friends and acquaintances. You are an acquaintance. But you like Missy and you're really happy for her. You see her at the mall and have a long chat about everything that is going on in her life.
Time goes by, you're living your life. And then one day you see Missy in the grocery store. She's wearing an adorable maternity top and looks so happy. Then you ask "the question". You ask because you're interested, because you care. You ask Missy:
"So, when are you due?"
Her face falls. She tells you she delivered little Waldo three weeks ago!!! You're embarrassed, she's embarrassed. Thankfully you both need to finish your shopping.
This happened to my wife (twice) and later she did it to someone else. It's so hard to avoid because you ARE interested. But now I try to catch myself. Instead of leading with "when are you due" I try to stay more generic and stick with "how are you".
But I know some day I'll insult some lovely mom who is in the middle of that wonderful/difficult time of caring for a new born.
Have you ever done this to a new mother????
Oh my. Poor girl. Med school teaches me to start interviewing patients with an 'open-ended question', but I guess that pretty much applies to every conversation!
ReplyDeleteIf that ever happens to me I would be so embarrassed!! That's the reason why I don't ask such questions, even though I do really care. But I am cautious and stay with a nice "how are you" (you are absolutely right!:-), I think that must also be enough to show that you care?? XD
ReplyDeleteI know it's a bit out of context..But I've been through this kind of embarrassment..I was wearing this oversized flare dress, that, I realized a little too late, looks like a maternity dress.. Then I got onto the train.. Then there's this girl directly gave up her seat for me, she gave me this smile, like saying "oh mommy-to-be pls have a seat" I was so embarrassed, but I sat anyway..I never wear that dress anymore..
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha.. cute, embarrassing situation. I hope one day that doesn't happen to me. But the worst is probably saying, how many months along are you? and then finding out she's not even preggy.
ReplyDeleteRick, happy mom's day to your wifey and to your mom
see, that's why i let the woman start talking about her pregnancy first. i never bring it up. i will act like she has a 6 pack rather than bring it up. lol btw, my friend is pregnant and hasn't even told her mom...i was so tempted to write on her facebook wall today 'happy mother's day!!' just to get her back for tricks she's played on me *heh heh* there's still time, should i do it?
ReplyDeleteRon and I were having lunch at a restaurant he used to work at and he asked one of his old co-workers when the other co-worker (who was a few feet away) was due. The guy leaned over and said that she gained alot of weight, but shes not pregnant.
ReplyDeleteBURN!
Hahaha! I got that comment too before, a lot of times. Hey, it takes time to lose the baby weight gain. I didn't find it offensive when I was given that comment after a month of giving birth. What offended me is when I still heard that comment a year after giving birth. Hahaha!
ReplyDeletehasn't happened yet... :-) But i'll keep that in mind.
ReplyDeleteahahaah! That's so funny. I never had one of those moments, but when I do I'll gladly remember your advice. :)
ReplyDeletehahhahahha...really dangerous question:)
ReplyDeletethanks for the greetings Rick, actually its not late, its advance because we celebrate mother's day here in sweden 2weeks late:) so out MD will be this may 30 to be exact:)
I dont think it´s offensive Question...
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by and have a good week ahead!
i've never done this but i have thought it...many times. oops!
ReplyDeleteat least it's only in my head. haha.
btw thanks for your comment. you're so sweet in a non-stalkerish kind of way.
Totally agree with you ... keep it generic in order to fall flat on our faces. I've seen this happened once too often with my friends. They were to quick to assume. Sometimes, a woman may seem to have a bump but not necessarily pregnant.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I will not pop that question until they've confirmed that they're pregnant in the first place. Better safe than being red-faced.
My mom got a similar comment :( She was fixing flowers at the garden when a neighbor passed by and asked the same question. My mom and the tactless neighbor both blushed.
ReplyDeleteonce i was wearing a bib from a supermarket i worked for and i guess the bib made my stomagh bulge a lot (cu zyou have to tie it from the inside) and i got asked. LOL!
ReplyDeleteOH I KNOW SOMEONE WHO DID THAT and got embarrassed after being replied with "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat" LOLZ LOLZ I always try to avoid asking that, just to be on the safe and awkward-free side ^^
ReplyDelete