I'm mad at myself today. I was nice to an ex-friend. (Edit: A former best friend who is really a friend to no one.)
She called me on Tuesday, but I was too busy to answer (honestly). She left a message saying she was looking for someone who had disappeared. I returned her call after I knew she had left work for the day. She called back today and I answered. As expected, she had work questions--her work, not mine. I used to work in her office. Since I know what's it's like to need help and not get it, my policy has always been that I'll help anyone who needs it. But I need to rethink that regarding her.
I don't feel good about helping her (she uses people) but what really makes me mad is that I cheered her up too!!! She started complaining about her office (management there is REALLY awful) and how hard it is to find another job. Knowing exactly how she would respond, I suggested she get her husband to help her find a job with his agency. She said "no way, we would end up killing each other". I replied "see, your job is not so bad...things could be much worse". She started to laugh, but then she caught herself and she told me to "shut up". That last part doesn't make sense to me, but it is a typical reaction from her. Was she enjoying her bad mood and I ruined it for her???? I need to just ignore her calls.
that was weird. you're too nice ric :) but i cannot help but to think, have i done the same thing as well? @,@ oh no!!
ReplyDelete@the girl in stiletto: Haha! I bet you have too. Maybe it's a reflex...just being who you are before you have a chance to think about how mad the person makes you.
ReplyDeleteI need to edit the post to say this was a former best friend who was really no friend. She played me perfectly. But I can't blog about it becuz then everyone would know how to manipulate me! =)
well, i think that kindness begets kindness. If you believe in karma, then things will come back to you sooner or later; who knows you might need her help in the future.
ReplyDeletep.s - my food blog is not being updated any longer, but my other personal blog is! you can find i under my profile. =)
have a nice day!
i think i'll do exactly what you did too.
ReplyDeletewell, its natural for people to be nice.
but next time, i believe its understandable if you'll stop being nice to those peole who does't deserve it:)
I know it's hard being nice to that kind of people, but hey I think we dont need to be bad because the other person is bad do we lolz but again, I agree, it's easier said than done...
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I would have done the same thing. Being nice to people who actually do not deserve it, but you just can't help yourself. Well, I know all about it. BUT I don't really care either.... I think it's their problem and not yours. So if you are yourself by being the nice person that you always are, I think you've done a great job.
ReplyDeletebut yeah... ignoring further calls is def. another great solution haha!
loves
Oh wow, there are a lot of these kind of people. And there are a lot of nice people like us too. There are always times when I end up saying to myself that I wish I hadn't helped. Maybe we need to choose wisely about who we help. Don't call her back anymore, you know she only calls if she needs something...
ReplyDeleteWow, your ex friend sounds like a bitch... a total bitch with the "shut up" part. That's no way to be speaking to anyone... especially if they're calling regarding of work too and then end up complaining to you. That is just no way to react. So much for being mature, doesn't have any respect for people.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, you can enter and don't have to answer all the questions. If you don't have one, you can simply just state that or "N/A" which stands for no answer.
@Dilah: I do believe in karma, but with her I need to accept that whatever kindness I show her will have to come back to me from a different direction. I'm having technical difficulties with the other blog, I'll tyr again.
ReplyDelete@ambiguous_angel: And I'll do it again next time too. It's a reflex...then later I'll wish I hadn't. haha
@acutelife: No, we don't need to be bad too--but for a few hours after that exchange I WANTED to be bad! haha...jk, that's not who I want to be.
@Toothfairy: I agree with you, I don't care in most cases. This one is a special case. It might be an ego thing, maybe I'm embarrassed by what happened. People warned me what she was like, but I thought I knew better...I thought we were such great friends. Live and learn. =)
@ChinkyGirLMeL: From now on I'll answer the phone "What do you need this time?" haha!
@xoladiihoneyxo: I wouldn't call her that, but it sure made me smile when you did! Thanks! LOL
I really appreciate everyone's comments on this. It was nice to be able to vent and get your feedback. I don't carry stuff like this around, it's better to let it go and you've helped me let it go more quickly than I would have.
Thank you!
haha, I loved reading everyone else's comments! =b It's really amusing to see what all of us ladies would say.
ReplyDeleteBut when I was reading this post, I seriously thought of myself. Sounds just like me, I'm always picking up the phone when I should just ignore it. -__- But idk, I guess we just can't help it, we're too nice or something. LOL
& hey thanks for the nice comment. Made me smile :) This blogging community is seriously just like the best thing ever, haha. && I'm also in the process of just window shopping. I actually plan on returning a few things that I've already bought!
LOL, I just finished reading your post about you making tomato soup for your mom, haha! (& yes I know that I'm not commenting on the right post, but I doubt you check for comments on posts from September)
ReplyDeleteLove your blog, new follower :)