Recent mentions of tomboys and princesses reminded me of the "Door Princess" (DP).
I always try to be a gentleman...polite. I open doors, help the elderly with groceries, give up my seat on the train when it's crowded. Little things. But there is one person I'm not sure how to treat--or at least whether I should hold the door for her or not. She's a co-worker. I discovered she's a Door Princess. If she is with another person (male, female, it doesn't matter) she refuses to open or even touch doors. I didn't notice that myself. I only came up with the name!
Since I always hold the door for people (women & men), I didn't know the condition existed. But then one day I joined a group for lunch and the Door Princess got to the door first. She stood there with her arms folded, waiting for someone else to open it for her. So I did. One of the ladies in the group gave me grief for that. She explained that the DP always expects someone to open and hold the door for her. I said I was just trying to be a gentleman. Then all the ladies in the group got involved--teasing the DP and telling me I shouldn't bother being gentleman for someone who expects it. The guys in the group didn't say a word.
The gentleman in me wants to keep opening and holding doors. The DP laughs now when I push open a door for her, wondering if I'm going to hold it or release it (I did it once). But she still keeps her arms folded. She claims it's not a germ thing, she just really likes having other people open doors. I have another friend who gets mad if you try to open a door for her--she wants to open it for you. Always! I tried alternating, but she doesn't like that either. As a gentleman, my only option is to let her have her way, so I become a Door Prince whenever I'm with her. I'm flexible!!
This is something I never thought about one way or another until the ladies started talking about it on the way to lunch that day. The two friends I mentioned are at opposite extremes. But are they unusual??? Are you a Door Princess (or Prince)? Or do you always want to be the one to open the door when you're with someone? Do you appreciate it if/when someone holds a door for you?
This is an odd topic--please don't judge my blog by this one!!! =) But people were talking about it in the real word, so I thought I'd mention it here. Let me know if you think I need new off-line friends!!! LOL!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Train? What train?
Have you ever been inside a railroad coal car? During a terrible storm one summer, the locomotives at the front of a train had to abandon a string of empty coal cars. They were just sitting there...right behind my house!!! We had to explore them. My middle brother (3 yrs older than me) challenged me to a race from one end to the other...going through the inside of each car.
If you stood at the bottom of a car, there was no way you could get out. At first I was afraid I wouldn't be able to--I went in anyway. But if you ran towards the end of the car (which was slanted) you could bounce off the slant, jump up and pull yourself out. It was like using a spring board to vault over a pommel horse. Sort of.
When we started the race, my brother gave me a shove backwards and started on the count of one (instead of 3) and I was behind from the start. As we progressed towards the other end I would see him as he climbed out of the car I was jumping into. I'd catch up a little and then fall back. After a while it got to be hard work climbing out of the cars. I wish I could say I overcame his cheating at the start and my age disadvantage, but I lost. We did have fun though--aren't boys strange???
We were covered in coal soot...like little chimney sweeps. When we went into the house, our mom took one look at us and said, "You are NOT supposed to play on that train!" My brother responded with the first thing that popped into his head, "Train? What train?"
He and I did laundry that afternoon.
If you stood at the bottom of a car, there was no way you could get out. At first I was afraid I wouldn't be able to--I went in anyway. But if you ran towards the end of the car (which was slanted) you could bounce off the slant, jump up and pull yourself out. It was like using a spring board to vault over a pommel horse. Sort of.
When we started the race, my brother gave me a shove backwards and started on the count of one (instead of 3) and I was behind from the start. As we progressed towards the other end I would see him as he climbed out of the car I was jumping into. I'd catch up a little and then fall back. After a while it got to be hard work climbing out of the cars. I wish I could say I overcame his cheating at the start and my age disadvantage, but I lost. We did have fun though--aren't boys strange???
We were covered in coal soot...like little chimney sweeps. When we went into the house, our mom took one look at us and said, "You are NOT supposed to play on that train!" My brother responded with the first thing that popped into his head, "Train? What train?"
He and I did laundry that afternoon.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Darkside II
This must have been the first rotten thing I ever did—I don’t even remember it. But my brother swears it happened.
One afternoon (before I was old enough to attend elementary school) I climbed up on a chair next to our dining room door. I was waiting for one of my brothers to get home from school. When I heard his footsteps on the back steps, I prepared myself. As he came through the door, I whacked him over the head with a cast iron skillet. Then I dropped the skillet and ran to our mother screaming “Help! Help! He’s trying to hit me with a skillet!”
Wow! I’m glad I got THAT off my chest. Oh who am I kidding—he totally deserved it!!! I really hope that story is true. I should have hit him twice!!! Hahaha!
That brother was 3 years older, bigger, stronger, and had a terrible temper. I was just employing tactical strategy in dealing with him (if it happened). This story highlights the importance of varying your schedule. You never know when a 5 year-old with a score to settle might be waiting for you!!! =)
One afternoon (before I was old enough to attend elementary school) I climbed up on a chair next to our dining room door. I was waiting for one of my brothers to get home from school. When I heard his footsteps on the back steps, I prepared myself. As he came through the door, I whacked him over the head with a cast iron skillet. Then I dropped the skillet and ran to our mother screaming “Help! Help! He’s trying to hit me with a skillet!”
Wow! I’m glad I got THAT off my chest. Oh who am I kidding—he totally deserved it!!! I really hope that story is true. I should have hit him twice!!! Hahaha!
That brother was 3 years older, bigger, stronger, and had a terrible temper. I was just employing tactical strategy in dealing with him (if it happened). This story highlights the importance of varying your schedule. You never know when a 5 year-old with a score to settle might be waiting for you!!! =)
Darkside I
If this is not the most evil thing I have done (on purpose), it’s definitely in the top 2 and I've forgotten the other one. It involved my very first girl friend—Dawn. We were 14. I spotted her during soccer practice. She was a cheerleader and obviously the best one. =) She agreed to be my girl. For 3 weeks we held hands, smiled at each other and talked in the hallways. Then just out of the blue she broke up with me. It didn’t bother me much. It might have been because her family didn’t like “Catlicks”, as her grandpa pronounced it. "Might have been" but wasn't! I soon learned the true reason. Her real boyfriend had been out of town, but now was back--an older boy. She had used me as a temporary replacement--cheating on the other guy! That made me mad. I wanted revenge and I had a plan. Yes, an evil plan!
Step 1 - I used all the charm I had (at 14—hahaha) to win her back. I convinced her to break up with the older guy so we could be a couple. It worked…she was mine.
Step 2 – I knew she was on restriction for a bad grade in Spanish. She wasn’t allowed out of her house after school. So I bought a couples ticket for the upcoming school dance.
Step 3 – I invited her to the dance. She gave me an annoyed look and reminded me she was on restriction. I replied, “Oh that’s right. I already bought a couples ticket. Do you mind if I ask someone else?” Her jaw dropped and she starred at me for about 5 seconds before she stormed off. I sold the ticket for face value, went to the dance alone, and met my second girl friend there. Victory! Right???
At first I thought “now we’re even”, but that annoying conscience kept making me think about it. Is there a way to remove that thing??? Anyway, I’m sure you know the rest of the story. Guilt worked its magic and I have never even dreamed about doing anything like that again—hurting someone on purpose. Not even when I found myself in a similar situation in high school. Well, maybe I have dreamed about it, but...well...we can't control our dreams!
Oh, PS – I bumped into Dawn four years later and we had a great talk. I apologized. She apologized and gave me a hug. All was forgiven. So please don't yell at me about this!!! =)
During my short dating career, I was the "replacement" twice. By any chance have you had a similar experience, from either side of the relationship?
Step 1 - I used all the charm I had (at 14—hahaha) to win her back. I convinced her to break up with the older guy so we could be a couple. It worked…she was mine.
Step 2 – I knew she was on restriction for a bad grade in Spanish. She wasn’t allowed out of her house after school. So I bought a couples ticket for the upcoming school dance.
Step 3 – I invited her to the dance. She gave me an annoyed look and reminded me she was on restriction. I replied, “Oh that’s right. I already bought a couples ticket. Do you mind if I ask someone else?” Her jaw dropped and she starred at me for about 5 seconds before she stormed off. I sold the ticket for face value, went to the dance alone, and met my second girl friend there. Victory! Right???
At first I thought “now we’re even”, but that annoying conscience kept making me think about it. Is there a way to remove that thing??? Anyway, I’m sure you know the rest of the story. Guilt worked its magic and I have never even dreamed about doing anything like that again—hurting someone on purpose. Not even when I found myself in a similar situation in high school. Well, maybe I have dreamed about it, but...well...we can't control our dreams!
Oh, PS – I bumped into Dawn four years later and we had a great talk. I apologized. She apologized and gave me a hug. All was forgiven. So please don't yell at me about this!!! =)
During my short dating career, I was the "replacement" twice. By any chance have you had a similar experience, from either side of the relationship?
Monday, November 23, 2009
Stressed by Cooking?
My wife has Thanksgiving (TG) pretty much down to a science now. The menu has become a tradition and is essentially the same every year: salad, roast turkey, sausage and rice stuffing, mashed potatoes, steamed green beans, yams w/marshmallows, cranberry sauce (or some cranberry creation), rolls, and homemade butternut squash pie…with a different appetizer (or two) each year.
The menu came from my side of the family--except the salad, my family didn’t waste room with salad on TG! But this menu also became my-inlaws family tradition when my wife and I were 19 (we were not married yet, but I refer to her as my wife in this story anyway). Just before TG my mother-in-law had surgery that left her incapacitated. While my wife had been cooking family meals during the week for several years at that point, she and her 3 sisters panicked at the thought of cooking a TG meal. I told them not to worry; I could take care of it with no problem. They doubted me, but I showed confidence. We agreed they would buy the turkey and I would take care of everything else.
In truth, my show of confidence was just that—a show. The only cooking I had ever done was flipping burgers at Hardee’s (and wrestling tomato soup out of a can). But I had watched my mom and grandma in the kitchen. Plus, I couldn’t count the number of times I had changed the water when one of them was soaking a turkey. How much harder could it be to cook one? Haha!
Speaking of soaking a turkey, I decided to spend the night at my wife's parent's house so I could do that and then get an early start cooking the next day. After dinner I went to the fridge to get out the turkey. It wasn’t there. I asked my wife where it was. “Oh, it’s downstairs in the freezer.” I thought they knew the bird had to be thawed before it could be cooked…they didn’t. That was my fault, I should have asked about it several days earlier. No problem! I stayed up all night changing the water every 30 minutes and the bird was ready to cook by 8:00 the next morning. But what was that stuff hidden in the neck cavity??? (I know now!)
I’ll spare you the details on all of the other prep work and skip to the results. The turkey was really dry. The mashed potatoes were lumpy. The marshmallows on top of the yams were a little scorched (really, just a little). I used Minute Rice for the sausage stuffing. The green beans were canned. But the brown ‘n serve rolls and the canned cranberry sauce were great…and the pie was perfect—my mom made it.
As you can see, I made a lousy meal for them. But the poor quality of the food didn't matter. Somehow it was one of their favorites and the menu became their new family tradition. I think that’s because they were feeling especially thankful that year—since my mother-in-law had survived her surgery. So why am I sharing this? Well, one reason is just that it’s on my mind—so out it came! But the other reason is just to show that there’s no need to stress if you are faced with cooking your first meal or maybe the first for a new sweetie or his/her family. The biggest joy in sharing a meal is not about the food (although the food can bring a LOT of joy!), it’s about the time spent together. If your family/friends don’t appreciate you cooking for them, then invite me over. I ALWAYS appreciate it when someone else is willing to do it!!! Call early if you’re more than a 2 hour drive from DC. LOL!
Happy Thanksgiving—whether you celebrate it or not!!! I know I’m thankful for the great people I’ve met through blogging. As I've said before, if you are reading this, I'm talking about you! =)
If you don't mind sharing, what are you thankful for today? Just the first thing that pops into your mind!
The menu came from my side of the family--except the salad, my family didn’t waste room with salad on TG! But this menu also became my-inlaws family tradition when my wife and I were 19 (we were not married yet, but I refer to her as my wife in this story anyway). Just before TG my mother-in-law had surgery that left her incapacitated. While my wife had been cooking family meals during the week for several years at that point, she and her 3 sisters panicked at the thought of cooking a TG meal. I told them not to worry; I could take care of it with no problem. They doubted me, but I showed confidence. We agreed they would buy the turkey and I would take care of everything else.
In truth, my show of confidence was just that—a show. The only cooking I had ever done was flipping burgers at Hardee’s (and wrestling tomato soup out of a can). But I had watched my mom and grandma in the kitchen. Plus, I couldn’t count the number of times I had changed the water when one of them was soaking a turkey. How much harder could it be to cook one? Haha!
Speaking of soaking a turkey, I decided to spend the night at my wife's parent's house so I could do that and then get an early start cooking the next day. After dinner I went to the fridge to get out the turkey. It wasn’t there. I asked my wife where it was. “Oh, it’s downstairs in the freezer.” I thought they knew the bird had to be thawed before it could be cooked…they didn’t. That was my fault, I should have asked about it several days earlier. No problem! I stayed up all night changing the water every 30 minutes and the bird was ready to cook by 8:00 the next morning. But what was that stuff hidden in the neck cavity??? (I know now!)
I’ll spare you the details on all of the other prep work and skip to the results. The turkey was really dry. The mashed potatoes were lumpy. The marshmallows on top of the yams were a little scorched (really, just a little). I used Minute Rice for the sausage stuffing. The green beans were canned. But the brown ‘n serve rolls and the canned cranberry sauce were great…and the pie was perfect—my mom made it.
As you can see, I made a lousy meal for them. But the poor quality of the food didn't matter. Somehow it was one of their favorites and the menu became their new family tradition. I think that’s because they were feeling especially thankful that year—since my mother-in-law had survived her surgery. So why am I sharing this? Well, one reason is just that it’s on my mind—so out it came! But the other reason is just to show that there’s no need to stress if you are faced with cooking your first meal or maybe the first for a new sweetie or his/her family. The biggest joy in sharing a meal is not about the food (although the food can bring a LOT of joy!), it’s about the time spent together. If your family/friends don’t appreciate you cooking for them, then invite me over. I ALWAYS appreciate it when someone else is willing to do it!!! Call early if you’re more than a 2 hour drive from DC. LOL!
Happy Thanksgiving—whether you celebrate it or not!!! I know I’m thankful for the great people I’ve met through blogging. As I've said before, if you are reading this, I'm talking about you! =)
If you don't mind sharing, what are you thankful for today? Just the first thing that pops into your mind!
Friday, November 20, 2009
My Evil (?) Twin
I want to thank the Toothfairy for inspiring me to write this one.
Several times in my life I have been mistaken for someone else. It happens to everyone at some point. Usually it's someone who thinks that you went to elementary school together, you used to date one of their friends, or that you were on the same team at some point. It never involves a former best friend or other really close relationship. Well, almost never.
Several years ago I was out shopping with the family in a small town just outside Baltimore. My wife suggested we have an early dinner, so we stopped in a chain restaurant she likes. Since it was early the place was almost empty. Just as the hostess asked "how many" we heard a woman yell "What are you doing here?" We knew she wasn't talking to us, so we ignored her and followed the hostess to our table. As we looked over the menu, my wife whispered that the woman (who had shouted) and the older woman with her were both glaring at us. I said she should just ignore them.
After the waitress took our order, the woman stood up at her table and yelled at me "Jim, What are you doing here and who is that woman????" She was so mad she was shaking. I asked her if she was talking to me {but not like in "taxi driver" lol}. She squinted, took a few steps towards me and asked me to speak again. I told her I didn't know what she was talking about. She blushed and apologized. She said I looked just like her EX-HUSBAND and that both she and her mother thought I was him--Jim. Thank goodness I have a deeper voice than he does. They didn't hang around long after that.
My wife has had a lot of fun with this. Every once in a while she'll bring it up and say she had started to wonder if I was going around pretending to be "Jim Kirk"...and then she smirks a very pleased smirk and her eyes twinkle. I don't mind being teased, but it does bother me a little to think there is someone out there who could be mistaken for me by his ex-wife and ex-mother-in-law. Because of her anger towards him, I always thought of him as my evil twin. But really, I shouldn't have judged him by the reaction of an ex. He could be a great guy.
Maybe I'm the evil twin!!! hahahaha!!!
Several times in my life I have been mistaken for someone else. It happens to everyone at some point. Usually it's someone who thinks that you went to elementary school together, you used to date one of their friends, or that you were on the same team at some point. It never involves a former best friend or other really close relationship. Well, almost never.
Several years ago I was out shopping with the family in a small town just outside Baltimore. My wife suggested we have an early dinner, so we stopped in a chain restaurant she likes. Since it was early the place was almost empty. Just as the hostess asked "how many" we heard a woman yell "What are you doing here?" We knew she wasn't talking to us, so we ignored her and followed the hostess to our table. As we looked over the menu, my wife whispered that the woman (who had shouted) and the older woman with her were both glaring at us. I said she should just ignore them.
After the waitress took our order, the woman stood up at her table and yelled at me "Jim, What are you doing here and who is that woman????" She was so mad she was shaking. I asked her if she was talking to me {but not like in "taxi driver" lol}. She squinted, took a few steps towards me and asked me to speak again. I told her I didn't know what she was talking about. She blushed and apologized. She said I looked just like her EX-HUSBAND and that both she and her mother thought I was him--Jim. Thank goodness I have a deeper voice than he does. They didn't hang around long after that.
My wife has had a lot of fun with this. Every once in a while she'll bring it up and say she had started to wonder if I was going around pretending to be "Jim Kirk"...and then she smirks a very pleased smirk and her eyes twinkle. I don't mind being teased, but it does bother me a little to think there is someone out there who could be mistaken for me by his ex-wife and ex-mother-in-law. Because of her anger towards him, I always thought of him as my evil twin. But really, I shouldn't have judged him by the reaction of an ex. He could be a great guy.
Maybe I'm the evil twin!!! hahahaha!!!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
A dumb kid learning a lesson
During the summer, my friend Tom and I used to camp out in the woods (in a homemade tent) near our parents' houses. Sometimes we would buy supplies for the night from my grandmother's store--usually cream soda, grape soda and "cheezy poofs". Weird combo! One night my brother-in-law was watching the store and he suggested we buy a 6-pack of beer (I was 14) and he would join us later. We packed the bag so the beer was hidden by the soda and poofs. As we were going out the back door, my sister blocked our way. She wanted to look in the bag because "there better not be any beer in there!" I'm not sure what look I had on my face, but it must have been very innocent. As I started to show her what was in the bag I said, "I can't believe you want to...". I didn't get to finish that sentence because my sister started apologizing and asking us if we needed anything else. I was relieved, my "act" had worked out just the way I had hoped. But I had two competing thoughts. The first was--Wow, that was REALLY easy!!! But the second was--I hate this feeling! Technically I didn't lie, but acting innocent to get out of that situation was the same thing. It took me a while to process what had happened. Eventually that 30 seconds helped me to realize that while it can be easy to tell a lie (really, really easy!) and it can appear to be the easy way out of a situation, it's really the hard way out because I had to live with the guilt.
Because of the guilt, my friend and I gave all of the beer to my brother-in-law. And then we went on to prove we could do something really dumb while sober!!! We talked with my B-I-L for quite a while and then he went home and we tried to sleep in the tent. We couldn't. So we walked around the neighborhood (up and down the dirt road and railroad tracks) until we got an idea for a competition. We decided to sit on the front porch of my grandmother's store and see who could sit there the longest when a car was coming and then run out of sight before being seen. He would run left and I would run right. It was after 1:00am, so there were not many cars. The first 4 or 5 cars didn't see us. We were having fun. Then we noticed the lights of car #6. As with the earlier cars, we waited until the last second and then ran. This time Tom wasn't fast enough. He got caught--by the police!!! I was hiding around the corner in bushes. I could hear the officer questioning him about why he was out in the middle of the night and why he was running away from the store. Tom couldn't speak, he was crying too hard. Then I did something sort of strange. I came out of hiding and approached the officer as if I had nothing to fear. I introduced myself. I told him Tom was with me (me the 14 year-old--haha!), that the store belonged to my grandmother, we were camping out, and that Tom ran because we were playing a stupid game to see how long we could wait to run and not be seen by passing cars. It was 100% true, but what police officer would believe it in the middle of the night? For some reason this one did. He believed me!!! He said "Okay, don't do it again" then he got in his cruiser and drove off, leaving us just standing there. I didn't even have to tell him where we lived. We didn't have to wake our parents. I was amazed!
So in one night I learned two lessons: 1) I can't lie because it makes me feel too guilty; and 2) the truth really CAN set you free (if the police officer is nice)!!!! hahaha!
Because of the guilt, my friend and I gave all of the beer to my brother-in-law. And then we went on to prove we could do something really dumb while sober!!! We talked with my B-I-L for quite a while and then he went home and we tried to sleep in the tent. We couldn't. So we walked around the neighborhood (up and down the dirt road and railroad tracks) until we got an idea for a competition. We decided to sit on the front porch of my grandmother's store and see who could sit there the longest when a car was coming and then run out of sight before being seen. He would run left and I would run right. It was after 1:00am, so there were not many cars. The first 4 or 5 cars didn't see us. We were having fun. Then we noticed the lights of car #6. As with the earlier cars, we waited until the last second and then ran. This time Tom wasn't fast enough. He got caught--by the police!!! I was hiding around the corner in bushes. I could hear the officer questioning him about why he was out in the middle of the night and why he was running away from the store. Tom couldn't speak, he was crying too hard. Then I did something sort of strange. I came out of hiding and approached the officer as if I had nothing to fear. I introduced myself. I told him Tom was with me (me the 14 year-old--haha!), that the store belonged to my grandmother, we were camping out, and that Tom ran because we were playing a stupid game to see how long we could wait to run and not be seen by passing cars. It was 100% true, but what police officer would believe it in the middle of the night? For some reason this one did. He believed me!!! He said "Okay, don't do it again" then he got in his cruiser and drove off, leaving us just standing there. I didn't even have to tell him where we lived. We didn't have to wake our parents. I was amazed!
So in one night I learned two lessons: 1) I can't lie because it makes me feel too guilty; and 2) the truth really CAN set you free (if the police officer is nice)!!!! hahaha!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Stung by my Stepsister!
Have you ever been stung by a human? I know that’s a weird question, but I’m pretty sure I was stung once. By my step-sister!
Just a little background. She was 18 when we met and difficult for me to understand, even though I was just a few years older. She alternated between flirting and acting as if we had grown up together as brother and sister. The latter was okay, the flirting was weird. I never reacted to the flirting one way or the other. I just acted as if she had said nothing. My brothers blushed and laughed and that egged her on. Over time I realized that she needed attention from men…any man, even my dad if he was the only guy around (yuk!). I don’t mean she liked it, I mean she needed it! Strangers, family, didn’t matter. I felt bad for her about that.
We are not friends, but we’re friendly when we’re in the same place—always as members of large gatherings. Except once. About 7 months after my dad passed away my step-mother asked my wife and me to visit to help her go through his things and sort out what she wanted to keep, give to charity or toss out. My wife helped her while I took care of some details on dad’s estate in the morning and then the 3 of us worked on it in the afternoon. We took her and her daughter out to dinner that evening and then sat and talked for a while back at her condo.
When it was time for us to leave we started exchanging half-hugs to say goodbye. When my step-sister got to me I could see that instead of the standard fake kiss on the cheek, she was zeroing for a kiss on the lips. My reflexes were good. I turned my head to the left so quickly and so hard she ended up planting a kiss just below my right ear. When she did that it felt like I had been stung by a bee!!! We got out of there quickly after that. On the way to the car I told my wife about the sting and she laughed—thinking I was joking. We stopped at a convenience store on our way to the hotel and in the light my wife could see that my neck was red and splotchy just below my right ear—and it looked like there was a prick in the skin.
I washed the spot as soon as we got to the hotel—I could see a puncture in the skin. I turned to my wife and said, “OMG, she bit me…now I’m going to live forever!!!” Well, I seem to be continuing to age and I didn’t develop a lust for blood (or attention from strange men), so there seems to be no long-term side-effect from the sting.
Does anyone know what she did to me—or how she did it? How does a human “sting” someone???
Just a little background. She was 18 when we met and difficult for me to understand, even though I was just a few years older. She alternated between flirting and acting as if we had grown up together as brother and sister. The latter was okay, the flirting was weird. I never reacted to the flirting one way or the other. I just acted as if she had said nothing. My brothers blushed and laughed and that egged her on. Over time I realized that she needed attention from men…any man, even my dad if he was the only guy around (yuk!). I don’t mean she liked it, I mean she needed it! Strangers, family, didn’t matter. I felt bad for her about that.
We are not friends, but we’re friendly when we’re in the same place—always as members of large gatherings. Except once. About 7 months after my dad passed away my step-mother asked my wife and me to visit to help her go through his things and sort out what she wanted to keep, give to charity or toss out. My wife helped her while I took care of some details on dad’s estate in the morning and then the 3 of us worked on it in the afternoon. We took her and her daughter out to dinner that evening and then sat and talked for a while back at her condo.
When it was time for us to leave we started exchanging half-hugs to say goodbye. When my step-sister got to me I could see that instead of the standard fake kiss on the cheek, she was zeroing for a kiss on the lips. My reflexes were good. I turned my head to the left so quickly and so hard she ended up planting a kiss just below my right ear. When she did that it felt like I had been stung by a bee!!! We got out of there quickly after that. On the way to the car I told my wife about the sting and she laughed—thinking I was joking. We stopped at a convenience store on our way to the hotel and in the light my wife could see that my neck was red and splotchy just below my right ear—and it looked like there was a prick in the skin.
I washed the spot as soon as we got to the hotel—I could see a puncture in the skin. I turned to my wife and said, “OMG, she bit me…now I’m going to live forever!!!” Well, I seem to be continuing to age and I didn’t develop a lust for blood (or attention from strange men), so there seems to be no long-term side-effect from the sting.
Does anyone know what she did to me—or how she did it? How does a human “sting” someone???
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Why was I nice????
I'm mad at myself today. I was nice to an ex-friend. (Edit: A former best friend who is really a friend to no one.)
She called me on Tuesday, but I was too busy to answer (honestly). She left a message saying she was looking for someone who had disappeared. I returned her call after I knew she had left work for the day. She called back today and I answered. As expected, she had work questions--her work, not mine. I used to work in her office. Since I know what's it's like to need help and not get it, my policy has always been that I'll help anyone who needs it. But I need to rethink that regarding her.
I don't feel good about helping her (she uses people) but what really makes me mad is that I cheered her up too!!! She started complaining about her office (management there is REALLY awful) and how hard it is to find another job. Knowing exactly how she would respond, I suggested she get her husband to help her find a job with his agency. She said "no way, we would end up killing each other". I replied "see, your job is not so bad...things could be much worse". She started to laugh, but then she caught herself and she told me to "shut up". That last part doesn't make sense to me, but it is a typical reaction from her. Was she enjoying her bad mood and I ruined it for her???? I need to just ignore her calls.
She called me on Tuesday, but I was too busy to answer (honestly). She left a message saying she was looking for someone who had disappeared. I returned her call after I knew she had left work for the day. She called back today and I answered. As expected, she had work questions--her work, not mine. I used to work in her office. Since I know what's it's like to need help and not get it, my policy has always been that I'll help anyone who needs it. But I need to rethink that regarding her.
I don't feel good about helping her (she uses people) but what really makes me mad is that I cheered her up too!!! She started complaining about her office (management there is REALLY awful) and how hard it is to find another job. Knowing exactly how she would respond, I suggested she get her husband to help her find a job with his agency. She said "no way, we would end up killing each other". I replied "see, your job is not so bad...things could be much worse". She started to laugh, but then she caught herself and she told me to "shut up". That last part doesn't make sense to me, but it is a typical reaction from her. Was she enjoying her bad mood and I ruined it for her???? I need to just ignore her calls.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Timing in Life
Timing. It can make all the difference. We set goals and plan, but sometimes our lives turn on chance. Serendipity. You miss your regular bus in the morning, run into an old friend on the next one, and he tells you about a job opening in his office. Helping a co-worker causes you to leave work late and you miss the subway car that gets into an accident. You go roller skating to meet one girl, but end up meeting the love of your life instead.
I like to think I have good timing...that I am always where I need to be. I think I have been very lucky, whether we’re talking about school, work, or relationships. My luck started the day I was born. My mother caught the flu (all the news about swine flu reminded me of this) about eight weeks before I was due and she had to be hospitalized. She went into labor. Because of her condition, her doctor didn’t believe she would survive my birth. So my father was faced with a decision. Mother or child? Dad really had no choice. He already had five children at home and they needed their mother. That's where timing came in. While they were discussing options, I decided I had waited long enough and had started the journey to daylight as the doctor returned to the room. Fortunately my mom did survive my birth—but just barely. I had to live with an aunt for 6 months before joining my brothers and sisters at home. Over the next 6 or 8 years, I frequently spent short periods of time with various aunts and uncles and long stretches with my grandmother.
There is actually a funny story about that first 6 months with my aunt. The time came for me to join my family and my father drove to the aunt's house to pick me up. He knocked on the door, but no one answered. He went around to the back, but again there was no response. He tried the front again. Finally, my aunt came to the door, but she refused to open it. Instead she yelled out to my father, "You have too many kids already. We're keeping little Stephen." My aunt had changed my name and intended to keep me!!! My father wasn't sure what to do. He went to my grandmother's house and told her the story. She went back with him and made the aunt turn me over. Along with me, she also sent a huge amount of clothes and toys. One of my brothers said he only remembers the day I came home because there was so much stuff it seemed like Christmas morning in a movie.
Oh, There’s a 2nd funny story from this! Since I came home 6 months after mom, for years the 3 or 4 youngest of my five siblings thought I wasn’t related to them. Apparently they convinced me of that. According to my mom, a new family moved in across the street when I was 4 and I asked the father if I looked like him (after pulling on his pants to get his attention). When he asked why, I told him I was looking for my dad. My poor mom was so embarrassed.
So, what big events in your life were unplanned and just a matter of good timing???
I like to think I have good timing...that I am always where I need to be. I think I have been very lucky, whether we’re talking about school, work, or relationships. My luck started the day I was born. My mother caught the flu (all the news about swine flu reminded me of this) about eight weeks before I was due and she had to be hospitalized. She went into labor. Because of her condition, her doctor didn’t believe she would survive my birth. So my father was faced with a decision. Mother or child? Dad really had no choice. He already had five children at home and they needed their mother. That's where timing came in. While they were discussing options, I decided I had waited long enough and had started the journey to daylight as the doctor returned to the room. Fortunately my mom did survive my birth—but just barely. I had to live with an aunt for 6 months before joining my brothers and sisters at home. Over the next 6 or 8 years, I frequently spent short periods of time with various aunts and uncles and long stretches with my grandmother.
There is actually a funny story about that first 6 months with my aunt. The time came for me to join my family and my father drove to the aunt's house to pick me up. He knocked on the door, but no one answered. He went around to the back, but again there was no response. He tried the front again. Finally, my aunt came to the door, but she refused to open it. Instead she yelled out to my father, "You have too many kids already. We're keeping little Stephen." My aunt had changed my name and intended to keep me!!! My father wasn't sure what to do. He went to my grandmother's house and told her the story. She went back with him and made the aunt turn me over. Along with me, she also sent a huge amount of clothes and toys. One of my brothers said he only remembers the day I came home because there was so much stuff it seemed like Christmas morning in a movie.
Oh, There’s a 2nd funny story from this! Since I came home 6 months after mom, for years the 3 or 4 youngest of my five siblings thought I wasn’t related to them. Apparently they convinced me of that. According to my mom, a new family moved in across the street when I was 4 and I asked the father if I looked like him (after pulling on his pants to get his attention). When he asked why, I told him I was looking for my dad. My poor mom was so embarrassed.
So, what big events in your life were unplanned and just a matter of good timing???
Monday, November 2, 2009
A piece of me in ... November 2009
This is a monthly game started by Notes from the Toothfairy The game is to share info about you on the 1st Sunday of every month. That way, you and your readers can see what's happening in your life, including the changes. I.E. one month, you might love chocolate, a few months later you've might come to hate it. It's also to remind ourselves of people you love and the plans you have.
This month....
I like: that the 11th is a holiday and that Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Plus, I love the fall.
I don't like: people who feel they deserve to be treated better than they treat others.
I want you to know: I've been an uncle since I was 6.
I've planned: to save more…and eat more raw onions and garlic (aren’t you glad we only “talk” online???) to boost my immune system during the winter.
I want to say to someone special: Rather than say something to one special person, this month I’d like to say something to the great people I’ve encountered through blogging. I like meeting people—especially people who are willing to share a little of themselves and who are also interested in learning about others just for the sake of getting to know them. People like that are pretty amazing. So if you’re reading this, I’m talking about YOU!!!
This month....
I like: that the 11th is a holiday and that Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Plus, I love the fall.
I don't like: people who feel they deserve to be treated better than they treat others.
I want you to know: I've been an uncle since I was 6.
I've planned: to save more…and eat more raw onions and garlic (aren’t you glad we only “talk” online???) to boost my immune system during the winter.
I want to say to someone special: Rather than say something to one special person, this month I’d like to say something to the great people I’ve encountered through blogging. I like meeting people—especially people who are willing to share a little of themselves and who are also interested in learning about others just for the sake of getting to know them. People like that are pretty amazing. So if you’re reading this, I’m talking about YOU!!!
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