That's what I would say in response to the situation I'm about to share below. But I can't say that anymore, because I DID win something. Knitter extraordinaire Kristie (of North of 49) held a giveaway during the holidays and I won a beautiful knit scarf, handmade from verrrry soft wool (Cascade 220). It's my wife's, but I have borrowed it once or twice--I've never really been a big fan of wool before, but this changed my mind--it's really soft. Thank you, Kristie!!!
Speaking of my wife, yesterday she told me she's really lucky to have me. Before you let that warm your heart, I should point out that her birthday is in a few weeks. Her motives are suspect. But even so, I felt like I couldn't just leave that hanging out there without saying something back to her. So I told her I was lucky too. Then she put her hands on her hips and asked if I was trying to upstage her. Since she didn't want to be upstaged, I smiled and said, "Okay, I'm only almost as lucky as you are." Next thing I know, I'm getting smacked and hearing what sounded like "Chuckie" running away (remember the sound of those creepy little running footsteps???) and she was gone. Hit and run!
I couldn't have been more accommodating in that exchange, right? Yet somehow I still got a little smack on the arm--I can't win!!!
PS - For the sake of the post, I'm pretending I don't know why I got hit and also pretending I didn't intentionally provoke it. It was all good fun, honest--we were both laughing. Teasing almost never gets me in trouble. Almost. ;)
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Starving Monkey
I'm in the doghouse. Last night I decided to have a graham cracker. When I grabbed the box from the cabinet, I noticed a familiar problem. The top flaps were both ripped nearly off and the wrapper inside was ripped open all the way down. In my house, that happens to almost every box or bag that contains food. Cereal, cheese, crackers, chips (including chocolate), whatever, you name it.
Upon seeing the condition of the packaging, I mentioned to my wife (as I laughed) that she and the kids open food packages like they're starving monkeys and I would be happy to help by opening things for them. She laughed, but then realized I included her (and was offended).
The left side of my brain is telling me to make this a running joke with her and the right side is telling me to never mention it again. Left or right, which way to go??? =)
PS - To be fair, they shred the packaging of non-food items as well. It's as if everything is a Christmas package and they can't wait to rip it open.
Upon seeing the condition of the packaging, I mentioned to my wife (as I laughed) that she and the kids open food packages like they're starving monkeys and I would be happy to help by opening things for them. She laughed, but then realized I included her (and was offended).
The left side of my brain is telling me to make this a running joke with her and the right side is telling me to never mention it again. Left or right, which way to go??? =)
PS - To be fair, they shred the packaging of non-food items as well. It's as if everything is a Christmas package and they can't wait to rip it open.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
A Near Disaster
(Typing is still a little painful, so I'm sharing a story I wrote long ago and decided not to post. In other words, a reject. My apologies, I'll try to do better next time.)
A few years ago, we had an odd experience while visiting my wife’s sister in Pennsylvania. My in-laws were there for an extended visit. The sister had asked my wife to send the parents $1,000—but to make the check out to her (and of course she wouldn’t let my wife talk with her parents to confirm the need). We decided to visit them.
When we arrived, we entered through their garage and I could see a reflection of their fireplace in one of the prints hanging in their hallway. It was fall and a great day for a fire. Before long my wife went off to the other end of the house to play with one of the nieces—the other niece was at a friend’s house—and I stayed in the kitchen making small talk with the adults. Our hostess settled in at her kitchen table with her back to the garage door and her hubby was in and out. I wasn’t sure what he was doing.
As we talked, I noticed a reflection of fire again in the print on the wall. But the fireplace was behind me. I was facing the garage. How could I see a reflection of the fireplace? I quickly realized there had to be a fire in the garage! As I thought that (but before I said it), my brother-in-law looked at me and asked, “What? Is it a fire?” We started running towards the garage, but he turned left and went out the back door. A 3rd sister’s BF and I went into the garage and found a fire burning in the middle of what appeared to be a homemade fort.
The brother-in-law had put fireplace ashes in a paper bag, in a cardboard box, in a wooden box (all open on the top). There was a 5 gallon gas can right next to it on one side and a can of paint thinner on the other. All of that was surrounded by 4 bicycles, an old coffee table, golf clubs and assorted junk. I cleared a path and we got to the potential explosives before the fire did. Then we cleared everything else away from the fire and it burned harmlessly. A few minutes later the brother-in-law came running in with a shovel in his hands—he said he thought we might need it. Good thing we didn’t.
My wife thinks the brother-in-law was actually trying to knock off his wife in a “tragic” explosion. The 3rd sister thinks the engineer-turned-salesman is simply a moron. I lean towards him being an idiot, but I’m not sure. I wonder how he knew I was going to say there was a fire. I wonder why he put hot ashes in the garage (in paper and cardboard) when he normally put them in a metal container in the back yard. I wonder why junk (and explosive material) was completely surrounding the ashes/fire. I wonder why it took him so long to get the shovel.
What do you think? Was it stupidity or a poorly planned attempt to knock off his wife? Within two months he left her to go live with his girl friend (whose much older, wealthy husband had just had a major stroke and was completely dependent on her—she stuck him in a home, divorced him, and took half his fortune).
PS – My father-in-law said he didn’t need any money.
A few years ago, we had an odd experience while visiting my wife’s sister in Pennsylvania. My in-laws were there for an extended visit. The sister had asked my wife to send the parents $1,000—but to make the check out to her (and of course she wouldn’t let my wife talk with her parents to confirm the need). We decided to visit them.
When we arrived, we entered through their garage and I could see a reflection of their fireplace in one of the prints hanging in their hallway. It was fall and a great day for a fire. Before long my wife went off to the other end of the house to play with one of the nieces—the other niece was at a friend’s house—and I stayed in the kitchen making small talk with the adults. Our hostess settled in at her kitchen table with her back to the garage door and her hubby was in and out. I wasn’t sure what he was doing.
As we talked, I noticed a reflection of fire again in the print on the wall. But the fireplace was behind me. I was facing the garage. How could I see a reflection of the fireplace? I quickly realized there had to be a fire in the garage! As I thought that (but before I said it), my brother-in-law looked at me and asked, “What? Is it a fire?” We started running towards the garage, but he turned left and went out the back door. A 3rd sister’s BF and I went into the garage and found a fire burning in the middle of what appeared to be a homemade fort.
The brother-in-law had put fireplace ashes in a paper bag, in a cardboard box, in a wooden box (all open on the top). There was a 5 gallon gas can right next to it on one side and a can of paint thinner on the other. All of that was surrounded by 4 bicycles, an old coffee table, golf clubs and assorted junk. I cleared a path and we got to the potential explosives before the fire did. Then we cleared everything else away from the fire and it burned harmlessly. A few minutes later the brother-in-law came running in with a shovel in his hands—he said he thought we might need it. Good thing we didn’t.
My wife thinks the brother-in-law was actually trying to knock off his wife in a “tragic” explosion. The 3rd sister thinks the engineer-turned-salesman is simply a moron. I lean towards him being an idiot, but I’m not sure. I wonder how he knew I was going to say there was a fire. I wonder why he put hot ashes in the garage (in paper and cardboard) when he normally put them in a metal container in the back yard. I wonder why junk (and explosive material) was completely surrounding the ashes/fire. I wonder why it took him so long to get the shovel.
What do you think? Was it stupidity or a poorly planned attempt to knock off his wife? Within two months he left her to go live with his girl friend (whose much older, wealthy husband had just had a major stroke and was completely dependent on her—she stuck him in a home, divorced him, and took half his fortune).
PS – My father-in-law said he didn’t need any money.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Ancient Prophesy Comes True
After the blood-letting, the medicine man read the signs and then turned to young Ricademus with an ominous prediction for his future--crystals will grow and you will know great pain.
Some of you may remember the story of the near-deadly kiss I received when I was 14. The resulting illness and blood work revealed I had extremely high uric acid levels. It was not due to diet, it was just my genes. The doctor explained that uric acid causes gout and I would likely have attacks unless I was extremely careful.
I was a kid and didn't give it much thought. Well, that's not completely true. When a future girl friend's mother tried to nag me into eating things I didn't like (liver, nasty gravies, etc.), I would smile and say I wished I could, but it would give me gout. It was fun to watch her reaction. She didn't know what to say--who ever heard a 15 year-old kid talk about getting gout???
Too few years later I limped around with what I (and my doctor) thought was a sprained ankle. I thought I hurt it playing soccer. Eventually we figured it out it was gout. I'd gotten a little dehydrated, which elevated my uric acid levels and allowed gout crystals (little shards of glass) to form in the ankle--which was weird, because gout normally targets the big toe. I resolved to drink lots of water (rather than take a pill every day for the rest of my life) to keep that from happening again.
It worked well.
Then in August I had a kidney stone. In October I hurt my knee. At the start of January my elbow started to hurt (a LOT). After another misdiagnosis, I remembered uric acid and asked my doctor if it could have caused each of those problems. It did. Drinking a lot of water is no longer enough. I have to start taking a prescription every day to keep my uric acid level in check. I have no problem taking pills, but I don't like that this is forever. I hope I remember.
If you take a daily pill, do you have a routine that helps you remember? Do you keep the bottle next to your tooth brush? In the kitchen? With your secret stash of chocolate???
If you are supposed to take something daily, I hope you remember it every day so you receive the full benefit. Take care of yourselves!!!
Some of you may remember the story of the near-deadly kiss I received when I was 14. The resulting illness and blood work revealed I had extremely high uric acid levels. It was not due to diet, it was just my genes. The doctor explained that uric acid causes gout and I would likely have attacks unless I was extremely careful.
I was a kid and didn't give it much thought. Well, that's not completely true. When a future girl friend's mother tried to nag me into eating things I didn't like (liver, nasty gravies, etc.), I would smile and say I wished I could, but it would give me gout. It was fun to watch her reaction. She didn't know what to say--who ever heard a 15 year-old kid talk about getting gout???
Too few years later I limped around with what I (and my doctor) thought was a sprained ankle. I thought I hurt it playing soccer. Eventually we figured it out it was gout. I'd gotten a little dehydrated, which elevated my uric acid levels and allowed gout crystals (little shards of glass) to form in the ankle--which was weird, because gout normally targets the big toe. I resolved to drink lots of water (rather than take a pill every day for the rest of my life) to keep that from happening again.
It worked well.
Then in August I had a kidney stone. In October I hurt my knee. At the start of January my elbow started to hurt (a LOT). After another misdiagnosis, I remembered uric acid and asked my doctor if it could have caused each of those problems. It did. Drinking a lot of water is no longer enough. I have to start taking a prescription every day to keep my uric acid level in check. I have no problem taking pills, but I don't like that this is forever. I hope I remember.
If you take a daily pill, do you have a routine that helps you remember? Do you keep the bottle next to your tooth brush? In the kitchen? With your secret stash of chocolate???
If you are supposed to take something daily, I hope you remember it every day so you receive the full benefit. Take care of yourselves!!!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Clipped Wing
I'm having trouble posting and commenting the past few days (4??) thanks to a very painful elbow. I don't know how it happened--unless my keyboard at work isn't at the proper height, which is a pretty lame way to get hurt. It's not that bad. It doesn't hurt at all when I'm asleep, so it's only a problem 70% of the time.
I am reading posts. But typing is no fun, so my posts and comments will be few for a while.
Don't get used to it! ;P
I am reading posts. But typing is no fun, so my posts and comments will be few for a while.
Don't get used to it! ;P
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Blog Love (Songs)
I recently discovered a few songs about blogging. As a thank you to the wonderful people I’ve met through my blog, I’d like a share a few of them today.
Most of them are rewrites of existing songs, motivated by the hope of cashing in on the phenomenon. And some are a little whiny—like the one from the Backstreet Boys, “As Long As you Comment”. We all enjoy getting comments, but I’d be too embarrassed to ASK for them. You have to have a little blog pride. I’m sure you know this one, so I’ll only share a few lines:
I don't care who you are,
Where you're from,
What you did,
As long as you comment.
See what I mean? It sounds a little needy. You may have missed the blog song from Barry White, who jumped on the band wagon just before he passed away in 2003. Here are the lyrics from, “Can’t Get Enough of Your Blog, Yeah.”
I've heard people say that
Too much of anything is not good for you, bloggers.
But I don't know about that.
As many times as we've posted,
And we've read posts and shared posts.
It doesn't seem to me like it's enough.
It's not enough, bloggers. It's just not enough.
etc., etc., etc. (edited--it was too long)
Rest in peace Mr. White and thank you for expressing what so many of us feel about blogging.
Ahahahaha! Okay, so there are no such songs. But the blogging community IS pretty great.
Welcome to 2012! I’m not sure what to expect this year. One Pisces horoscope said, “No longer can you deny how truly empathic and sensitive you are.” And another read, “Control your temper since it is the only thing which can cause you trouble.” I’m not thrilled about either. We’ll see what happens. =)
Most of them are rewrites of existing songs, motivated by the hope of cashing in on the phenomenon. And some are a little whiny—like the one from the Backstreet Boys, “As Long As you Comment”. We all enjoy getting comments, but I’d be too embarrassed to ASK for them. You have to have a little blog pride. I’m sure you know this one, so I’ll only share a few lines:
I don't care who you are,
Where you're from,
What you did,
As long as you comment.
See what I mean? It sounds a little needy. You may have missed the blog song from Barry White, who jumped on the band wagon just before he passed away in 2003. Here are the lyrics from, “Can’t Get Enough of Your Blog, Yeah.”
I've heard people say that
Too much of anything is not good for you, bloggers.
But I don't know about that.
As many times as we've posted,
And we've read posts and shared posts.
It doesn't seem to me like it's enough.
It's not enough, bloggers. It's just not enough.
etc., etc., etc. (edited--it was too long)
Rest in peace Mr. White and thank you for expressing what so many of us feel about blogging.
Ahahahaha! Okay, so there are no such songs. But the blogging community IS pretty great.
Welcome to 2012! I’m not sure what to expect this year. One Pisces horoscope said, “No longer can you deny how truly empathic and sensitive you are.” And another read, “Control your temper since it is the only thing which can cause you trouble.” I’m not thrilled about either. We’ll see what happens. =)
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