to the living and the deceased. It's important, on an individual level and to groups of people we've never met--Memorial day, All Saints' Day, Veterans Day, All Souls' Day, etc. The 9/11 aniversary and a few other things have me thinking about this.
I saw a fellow almost cause an accident because he wanted to go when his traffic light turned green, rather than wait and let a funeral procession continue through the intersection. Waiting two minutes was too much to ask. But when we encounter a funeral procession, we have to let it go first. We probably don't know the person, but he or she was important to someone and stopping is the least we can do to pay our respects to the passing of the deceased and the grieving of the living. Do unto others...
My grandfather was the first loved one I lost. I was 7. It didn't seem real. Later I learned that it never does. I managed to annoy my dad at the funeral home. I thought I saw my grandpa's hand move. I didn't make a scene, dad just didn't want me telling people.
A semi-tradition started the next time I lost a relative. I think I was 12. Again I annoyed my dad, but that's not the tradition (at least not the one I'm blogging about). My grandfather's brother died and as my aunts planned the funeral I heard one say, "Let's have Rick be a pall-bearer. He'll want to do it." At the time my reaction was to wonder why my 15 and 18 year-old brothers didn't have to do it. Plus, my mom's family was large, so why me? My feelings changed by the time the funeral ended. Experiencing a funeral for the first time, the collective grief, I was glad to have had a way to show my respects and be helpful. It was an honor.
I lost my mom when I was 25 and my dad some years later. After that, I'd been a pall-bearer 12 times. I'd rather be a godfather again, or a best man, but attending funerals is part of life too. It's good to help family and friends celebrate their happy moments, but it's even more important to be there to support them in their moments of grief...to pay our respects.
PS - This is my first scheduled post. I wanted the date to be 9/11, but didn't want to stay up until 3am (EST).
I was in second year high school when the 9/11 terrorist attack, and I can still remember everything vividly. We are miles and oceans away from New York but the effects of this terrible, despicable act reverberated all over the world. I am offering a silent prayer to all the victims, and all the people who lost their loved ones.
ReplyDelete"It's good to help family and friends celebrate their happy moments, but it's important to be there to support them in their moments of grief...to pay our respects."
ReplyDeleteThis is so, so true Rick. Having just experienced the death of my dad I can say without a doubt that the love and support of family and friends makes what is a very rough road just a little bit easier to travel down.
I've only lost one person so far dear to me, my aunt. She had passed away from cancer and no one knew but her that there was something wrong. It definitely was the challenge and was the hardest thing I had to go through. I was heartbroken and devastated when she passed. She was in a different country and I didn't have the financial means to travel and say goodbye.
ReplyDelete"It's good to help family and friends celebrate their happy moments, but it's even more important to be there to support them in their moments of grief...to pay our respects." How very true.
ReplyDeleteI've never been to a funeral yet, and still have not lost a loved one yet, too. I'm so scared of this moment, I never want it to come, but it sadly belongs to life, it is only a matter of time.
ReplyDeleteWe should definitely pay our respects to the deceased. I attended my first funeral last year and it was a pretty emotional experience.
ReplyDeleteI've only attended 1 funeral in my entire life, and that was for my grandmother. My mom would not allow us to attend funerals as kids, and when we finally did it was an emotional experience. We should definitely pay our respects to those who have departed.
ReplyDeletei usually try to stay away from funerals and the only one that i've attended and ever paid attention to was my late brother's.
ReplyDeletei watched the 9/11 on television and i felt really bad for the families who have lost their loved ones. differences in beliefs or whatever else is there in the world is never worth another persons life. and it was just so disheartening to see how many lives were lost that day. :(
So agree Rick! what can I say but pondering here after reading!:I
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger I was scared to look in the coffin at funerals, but when I became older I began to understand that it's a way of paying my last respects. I agree, it's just as important to give our support during difficult times.
ReplyDeleteI was in my college dorm during the 9/11 attacks. I remember waking up and turning on the TV and it was all over the news. It was shocking and terrible. :(
I haven't lost anyone close to me yet and it frightens me when I think about it long...
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