Back in the spring of 2010 I mentioned in a post that I'd had my heart broken a little the previous weekend. I never went into what caused it.
Saying I was heart broken was a little misleading...and yet at the same time it wasn't. The issue was money. Money and debt. And secrets. In 2010 my wife wrote a $5,000 check without telling me. I thought the bank made a mistake. It took a lot of effort, but my wife finally admitted she wrote the check to pay off a credit card bill. I had no idea she was $5,000 in debt. But it was good to have it gone. Except it wasn't gone.
In the spring of 2014 I accidentally opened a piece of mail that I honestly thought was addressed to me. It wasn't. I opened what I thought was my credit card bill and didn't understand what I was seeing. That's because it wasn't mine. It was from the same company, but it was my wife's bill. She owed $20,000. I was stunned. We talked about it, paid it off. She promised there was no other debt, no more secrets.
Today I found out I'm broke. Well, we have the house (and mortgage) and retirement accounts. But we have no cash. Well, we HAVE cash, it's just that my wife owes more than we have--almost four times more than what I'd already paid off for her.
I thought we were a team. I thought we were on the same page. I thought we were working to provide for our son's retirement (I know that sounds weird, but he has a serious case of Asperger's Syndrome and his earning potential is very limited). But it turns out we've saved nothing.
It's all been for nothing. Today I feel completely crushed.
PS - On the bright side, no one will see this post, but at least I got to vent.
So sorry to crush you but I've seen this post. I thought you weren't writing anymore! I'm surprised to see this rather recent post! I'm on my once every 2 or more months blog visit again and decided to drop by your blog as I haven't been here since you last made it private.
ReplyDeleteIf the next part of my comment is sensitive or you don't feel like answering, do not feel obliged to and do delete it if it makes things better.
I'm so sorry to hear about your crushed spirit back during those 2 times and also of your situation now. I don't know how I could help in any way. What was your wife in debt for? I'm asking not only outta curiosity but also to take some precaution on what are some things that could cause debt to snowball. I really hope the both of you manage to work things out. I don't really know what else to say but to offer my listening ear if there is a need for you to let off any rant.
Hi Jo, I reopened the blog in hopes you'd get to see the Care Package post. Then yesterday I needed to vent, so I decided to write. I didn't think anyone would see it because once a blog becomes as inactive as mine, people forget about visiting. Even when a stray post pops up later, the reaction is usually "meh, no point clicking on that."
DeleteI've always had the attitude "it's only money" and I don't think I've ever been cheap. But yesterday's discovery really shocked and upset me.
PS - Thank you for the offer!
DeleteI'm terribly sorry to hear this and you know that I'm around if you want to talk about it. I know there's so much more to this than meets the eye (even in this post)
ReplyDeleteThank you Rooth! And you're right. While it involves money, it's really a trust issue.
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