I have a story.
But first I am going to pile on and comment on the Ray Rice situation. It's sickening. But for more reasons than the news outlets are reporting (at least the reports I've seen). Months ago (February?), it was reported that he had knocked his fiancee out cold in an elevator. Legally and professionally he received a slap on the wrist. Until a video of the incident was released. Then things hit the fan.
Why did it take a video? What do people think it looks like when a football player clocks a woman (or anyone)? The video was no more disturbing than the story. Is there no justice for domestic abuse victims without a video??? Second, the talking heads on TV talk as if they know the GF/wife is a victim of long-term abuse. They can tell because she "fits the profile." That's BS--they don't "know" anything. She also fits the profile of a spouse trying to protect the family income stream. I'm not defending the guy, but there's no excuse for making assumptions and treating them as facts.
My story: As a teenager I gestered with my hands more than I do now--especially when I was annoyed. One evening I had a fairly animated discussion with my GF in her parent's basement. She was sitting on their dryer and I was standing in front of her. At some point her oldest sister came down the basement steps and, from the viewing angle of the stairs, thought I struck my GF. I did not (I promise, I've never done anything like that). Several days later my GF told me what happened, that her sister thought I hit her. She thought it was funny. I did not. 1) I didn't get a chance to defend myself against the false accusation. 2) Why didn't the sister confront me? Or tell her father so he could defend his daughter? She thought I hit her sister and just walked away???
Maybe it worked out better for me that she didn't sing her accusation from the rooftop, but...
When it comes to the Ray Rice situation, I feel very mixed about the whole thing. I feel the NFL messed up big time and are now using Rice as an example. The fact that they allow other men who have been involved with domestic abuse incidents still play scot free is appalling and does say something about the people who run it. The media doesn't help by sensationalizing everything either.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to domestic violence, I feel there are a lot of shades of grey. Not everything is black and white. People who have not been in the situation do not know what it's like and assume they know ultimately what is the most beneficial for all the parties. I don't like that the media can "tell" that she fits the victim's profile. They can't tell, no one can tell.
I'm glad her sister didn't sing it from the rooftop either! That might have gotten ugly quick!
I'm glad too, but at the same time sorry she didn't defend her sister.
DeleteAll I'll say is that the NFL needs to clean up their act!
ReplyDeleteAnd good thing her sister didn't say anything (although it would have been nice for her to defend her sister)!
xo, Yi-chia
Always Maylee
Amen about the NFL! And hopefully parents are teaching their kids to separate respecting someone's athletic ability from wanting to copy their behavior.
DeleteThat's what I thought about the sister too.
I've heard the commentary on that incident and it's pretty ridiculous that he got a slap on the wrist when there was no video and now finally indefinite suspension when the video came out. (I hope I'm correct) Even if the wife "had" a history of abuse, is that any reason to justify Rice's actions. Heck no. You know the NFL is just looking out for their revenues.
ReplyDeleteAs for your story, I know you'd never hit anyone. I guess the moral of the story is to always speak up. I'm saddened when I see kids yelled out or manhandled by their guardians in public. Yet I know where they guardian is coming from because I certainly have had those moments.
You're right about speaking up--and the NFL. During an amusement park visit my wife saw a fellow hitting the woman with him. She hurried me out of the bathroom (she didn't actually go inside) to stop it. But we couldn't find them when I went back with her. She was stunned that no one helped. But it is probably a shock to see something like that...people don't know how to react at first.
DeleteIt's funny (sad) the way this issue has blown up in the NFL's face. I hope they've learned a lesson...and I wonder what % of the players have trouble leaving violence on the playing field???
True - not okay by the NFL. Not okay to stand by when these things happen and you know about them. And definitely not okay for the NFL to try and paint everyone into a box. You know what they say about assumptions...
ReplyDeleteAgreed--except for my assumptions! :)
DeleteThere's another thing about this story that is troubling. If it hadn't been a famous person (assuming playing in the NFL makes you famous), would anyone have cared what happened in that elevator? Maybe, but maybe not.
ReplyDeleteSome people would (see my reply to Lisa), but it wouldn't have gotten any attention. I don't care about celebrities personal lives. My wife is the opposite. When she tells me about a celebrity break-up or whatever, I repeat the situation back to her, but make it about "a guy in Iowa"...and that I'm upset about it. She goes back and forth between being amused/annoyed by that.
DeleteYou have such an interesting blog!
ReplyDeleteI'll be reading :)
kisses Lunaraay :*
Thank you--and welcome!
DeleteI do n know know about the Ray Rice saga and had to google it. I'm still a little confused as to who is the bad one here.
ReplyDeleteIt is fortunate that your gf's sis finally told her what she thought she saw. Could you imagine if she had kept it to herself and continue having the thought that you hit her sister? That would be bad. It reminds me of a story that was made into a movie... Can't recall its name all of a sudden but it was about a sister seeing what she thought she saw and then went around telling people and that got the couple into deep trouble. Hmm... Now.. I think even the synopsis is fuzzy to me now.
Almost everyone is turning out to be the bad guy....Rice and all the people who tried to minimize/cover it up.
DeleteYou're right about that sister! That could have been much worse. We can't defend ourselves (or loved one) from that sort of false gossip.