Surreal Day II

After enjoying a picturesque drive through the snow with my GF and taking an under-dressed girl and her brother home, I headed for my home.  When I got there my dad was still in pain.  I asked again if he wanted to go to the hospital. He said no, he would be fine. Close to 8:00 that night (when there was nearly 20 inches of snow) my dad asked if I was more comfortable in my car or his. I asked, "more comfortable for what?"  He just wanted me to drive him to the hospital.  Just???  So I partially cleared a path to my car, swept the snow off it, and helped both of my parents walk to the car.   Then we headed off into the snowstorm.

I attempted the direct route, but there was one steep hill I couldn't get past. My car had rear-wheel drive and kept sliding before I could get to the top. There were deep ditches on both sides of the road so I couldn't afford to take chances. We took the long way instead. When we got to a straight stretch of road I sped up a little. My mom was in the backseat and scared. She softly said, "I think you need to slow down."  Before I could answer, my dad said, "Leave the boy alone!" I had to fight back laughter. If you knew my dad, the drill sergeant, you would know why that was funny. For him to be the one defending instead of "advising"--Hysterical!!! But also an indication of how much pain he was in that night.

Soon he and I had a big disagreement. A road he wanted to take was closed. He had an idea for another route, but I knew a shortcut. I had been bused to a middle school in that area and the after-school activity bus took a lot of different routes to get me home. The drill sergeant made it clear he did NOT want to take my shortcut. I disobeyed him. The entire drive was tense because of the snow and his pain. But those next 10 or 15 minutes were beyond tense, with him not exactly yelling, but strongly insisting I was wrong and needed to turn-around.  My short-cut seemed to drag on and I started to doubt my memory--but I didn't admit it.   I kept going.

Thankfully I wasn't wrong.  The shortcut took us directly to the hospital. It was at the top of a hill, but my car took us straight up without a single slip or spin. The relief was tremendous. I had debated with my dad before (and secretly done things my way instead of his), but that was the first time I openly disobeyed him. He needed to be in charge and he didn't want to admit anyone knew something he didn't. But that night he ended up appreciating it. He thanked me for driving him and said he was glad I took the shortcut. I can't properly explain how huge that was.  It was a first small step towards him respecting me--there were still a lot of steps to be taken on that journey, but he eventually got there.

I hope now you can understand how the story of driving my dad to the hospital (through the snow) made me forget to tell my GF about the French Maid the next day. And for the next 10 years!!! Right?  :D


PS - Hours later, after my dad was admitted to the hospital, I insisted my mom let me drive her home.  We made it safely, but I don't think she ever forgave me--thanks to an encounter on a bridge with a snow plow.  But I swear, it's wake only pushed us a little towards the guard rail.  LOL!

Surreal Day – Part I

It's not snowing here, but there was a chance of it this week.  The mention of snow reminds me of several big events in my life that were either complicated or caused by snow storms.  Some were tense and some were fun.  Today I want to share the fun part of a day that was both—the next post will cover the tense part.

I was a 17 yr-old high school senior and running errands on a Saturday morning with my GF (now my wife). A snowstorm had rolled in and the world looked beautiful. The snow was accumulating very quickly. After our errands we stopped by my parent's house for lunch. We ate with my mom. My dad was nowhere to be seen, but we soon heard him. He was trying to ignore the pain of a kidney stone. I asked if he wanted to go to the hospital, but he said no. He'd had a similar pain a few weeks earlier that went away as he sat in an emergency room.  This time he was staying home.

Since I wasn't needed, I drove my GF home. It took longer than usual because of the snow, but we enjoyed the view. On my way home after dropping her off, I saw something odd. I thought I was imagining it. But as I got closer I could see I was right.  There was a woman in a very short French Maid outfit (w/a little jean jacket) walking through the snow in heels, with a little boy next to her. I started to drive past them—I could hear my GF saying “don’t you dare stop”.  But then I heard my grandma telling me we’re supposed to help people.  Grandma won (there was a foot of snow on the ground).  I stopped.

I backed up a little and got out to offer them a ride. I tried to show the woman my driver's license (so she'd know who I was), but she couldn't have cared less. She was freezing in those clothes and jumped in the car before I could suggest she get in the backseat. The boy squeezed in next to her and the three of us were packed in pretty tight in the front seat (with her in the middle). I’m not sure why (my GF), but that made me a little uncomfortable.

She told me she was a college senior and worked at a local restaurant—that was her uniform.  The place closed early due to the snow, so she’d picked up her little brother from a friend's house on her way home.  They were walking because her car slid into a ditch.

She gave me directions to their parent's house. It was about 5 miles—that would have been quite a hike in the snow in those heels. As I drove into their driveway I tried to think of the right thing to do next. If she'd been wearing regular clothes with heels, I think I would have carried her to the porch. But once again I could hear my GF saying “don’t you dare!”  This time she won, so I stayed behind the wheel and let the girl walk.  Chivalry, like anything, shouldn’t be taken too far.  LOL

Supposedly I forgot to tell my GF/wife this story for about 10 years. One day we were reminiscing about that day and suddenly I could feel heat coming from her direction.  She was staring at me and swore I’d never shared that with her.  I really thought I had.  But I had an excuse—something serious happened that night.  So that became the big story.  I’ll share that in part II.

Have you been on either side of a conversation about having shared (or not shared) something significant???

Valentine's Day

My favorite approach to Valentine’s Day is still the elementary school version.  It was about friendship.  It was about acknowledging everyone (especially friends) and giving everyone a card—even the little booger eater in the corner.  Before you ask, no, that was not me.  I wish.  That guy is a billionaire today. 

The one bad thing was that the cards I bought weren’t all the same, so there was some anxiety in addressing them (maybe that’s why I get a little nervous every year at this time).  In a way, it forced you to rank your classmates—Julie and Sheri had to get “special” cards (but not too special—you couldn’t openly admit you “liked” them).  Dolores and Zola needed to get the “I like you” cards (but not the “like” like you ones).  The “best pal” card was for your best friend Fred and there was an array of cards expressing middle-of-the-road sentiments that were safe to give to anyone. 

The “be mine” cards were burned.

It was a fun day, but I think the one-size-fits-all cards are a much better way to go.  Much less pressure—and I would still have been able to smile at Julie while putting a card into her nicely decorated Valentine's (shoe) box.  Mine was Reynolds wrapped every year.

Anyway, to me Valentine’s Day will always be (at least partially) about friendship.  So Happy Valentine’s Day to you, my blog friends, and to your families!!!

PS – Or, as they say on 30 Rock, “Happy Valentime’s Day!”

"I have to go!"

"I have to be home in 30 minutes, I better leave."
"We need to go, we're meeting X for dinner."
"I better run, I have a meeting in 5 minutes"

When I hear people say such things, I expect them to go.  But in my circle of family and friends, they almost never do.  Instead they start a new chapter in the conversation.  I almost never enjoy that new chapter, regardless of the topic. 

I find myself wondering why the person made a big deal about needing to leave, if, in fact, they do NOT.  If they needed to leave, they would, right???  Nope!  They DO need to go, they just don't.  And when they're late getting wherever they should be, they'll probably blame YOU!

Something along the lines of, "Sorry I'm late, I couldn't get away from Rick."

The blame used to annoy me, but I've come to expect it.  What does bug me a little is when I tell someone I have to leave for a meeting (or whatever) and they try to delay me.  Politely, I don't let that happen--time doesn't stand still just because someone wants to chat.  When I say I have to go, I really have to go (hmmm, that doesn't sound right)--but not in an abrupt, rude way...just a normal goodbye.

This first became a "thing" for me at my in-laws house, when I first started dating my wife (@15).  When her aunts/uncles visited, it would take them an hour to leave after first saying they needed to.  It annoyed me.  So when I suspected the visitors were about to start the goodbye process, I'd go to their basement.  When I heard the front door open, I'd return to say goodbye.  After the 3rd time, my wife figured out what I was doing--and started joining me.  :)

Are you more like me or are you one of THEM (the people who talk about needing to leave, but don't)?
 

The Goodbye Process:
"It's getting late, we better leave", but start a new conversation.
"We really need to hit the road", start another conversation.
"I guess we should get our coats", and another conversation.
Get the coats, start another conversation.
"Oh, we're going to be late", put on the coats, start another conversation.
Walk to the door, start another conversation.
Grab door handle, start another conversation.
"Goodbye, see you soon."  FINALLY!!!

Someone in the House II

Late last night I was sitting at the kitchen table sorting through mail.  I could see the tv was on in the family room and I could hear that my wife wasn't watching it (she was snoring--but that's our secret).  Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone cross in front of the tv, headed towards the laundry room.  I expected to either hear the laundry room door open or to see the person walk into the kitchen (those are the only two options).

But neither happened.

I investigated and discovered my wife was in the room alone--and the kids were at the other end of the house, one in bed and one taking a shower.

So who did I see walk between the tv and the door to the kitchen?

My wife hasn't been feeling well.  She has swollen lymph nodes and (completely unrelated) her wrist hurts.  Soooo, we're considering that just maybe her mom paid a visit.  The woman lived to take care of her kids when they were sick.  So much so that they didn't have any idea how to take care of themselves after she had brain surgery.  But that's a different story.

It doesn't matter if my imagination got the better of me last night or my mother-in-law was checking up on her daughter.  The important thing is that my wife thinks it was her mom and that thought makes her happy.

So, do you think it HAD to be my imagination or do you think anything is possible??? 

Emissions

In my state, personal vehicles must undergo an emissions test every two years.  Oddly. they don't have to pass, but that's not part of the story (and not exactly the type of emissions I'm posting about).  I'm happy to report that the oldest vehicle in my aging fleet passed with no problem this weekend.

The young man who handled the test mentioned he wouldn't mind his car being older if it meant he didn't have to make car payments.  He likes his 2004 Mercury, but $7,000 was a lot to pay off by himself.  It's not a base model, it has a few high-end features.  Why are used cars so expensive?  Most people his age don't know what it's like to pay for things themselves.  It's hard.  The Mustang that he tested just before my car was so loud he had to turn down his hearing aids.  Why do people want their cars making that much noise?  Probably just desperate for attention.  He'd call the police if a neighbor made that much noise.  It was his last day working at the inspection station.  He has fibromyalgia and the work is too strenuous.  He doesn't have a new job lined up.  He'd like to work in an office.  But how do you get an office job when you don't have any office experience?  He would be a good worker.  He's studying Spanish.  It might be fun to work for a travel agency, to help people arrange trips to Spanish-speaking countries.

Then the 4-minute test was over and he told me the car passed.

My wife is right...it's me, isn't it? 

But unlike my previous post, I didn't mind this time.  Sooner or later we all need someone to just listen to us.  It's an easy thing to do for another human--except when it's not easy.  :)