Angels or a Nightmare???

This post is about an experience I had, but I'm not sure I had. Hopefully it will make sense.

I've mentioned I have a 20 inch neck. It's great for holding up my big head. It also came with a free gift--sleep apnea. That causes people to stop breathing for short periods while they sleep. But so what? I was fine (and too dumb to look up the consequences). I started waking up a lot during the night and then waking up with headaches in the morning. Not every morning, but often. And then more often. And then mornings became a real struggle. I was tired all the time. But I work long hours, so of course I was tired. I didn't connect being tired to the apnea.

There was one positive. One day a very vain woman in my office stopped by to ask a question. My mind was alert, but I could feel my eyes closing. It was hysterical. Why? Because of the look on the woman's face. Thanks to her vanity, she was horribly offended that I could drift off while talking to HER. As I said, my mind was alert, so I was able to enjoy the moment.

That convinced me to see a doctor. I spent one night in the hospital for a "sleep study"--I was hooked up to monitors that measured how often I stopped breathing and also tracked my blood oxygen levels. At 5:00am the technician monitoring my activity woke me up. She couldn't take it anymore--she said I scared her more than any other patient in her 25 year career. On average, I stopped breathing 113 times an hour. At one point, my blood oxygen level went down to 59% (that's why I got headaches--carbon dioxide in my blood instead of oxygen). My poor brain!!!

I was put on the fast track to get a machine to keep me breathing at night, until I decided whether to have a minor throat procedure. Two weeks later I still didn't have the machine. And then it happened.

I went to bed, fell asleep, and later I felt hands pulling me away. I could see my room, then my house. I kept rising higher up (backing away) and the view was just what you would expect, until eventually I was looking down through clouds. But I didn't feel peaceful. I felt panicked. Imagine you see your puppy run out in front of a car. You can save it, but people are holding you back. You can't get free, but you have to. That's how I felt. Finally I shouted, "No, I can't go! My family needs me!". The hands let me go.

And then I woke up. I was awake, but I couldn't move. My heart was pounding so hard and fast I couldn't tell one beat from another and I was gasping for air. I must have stopped breathing for quite a while. I don't know how long it took for me to catch my breath and for my heart rate to drop back to normal--it felt like an hour, but it was at probably only ten minutes. Needless to say I was exhausted.

So what do you think happened that night? Was I on my way to the next life? Or just having a nightmare?


PS - I had the throat procedure. One experience like that was one too many.