Spaving

It's weird to mention the same blogger two posts in a row, but I learned the word "spaving" from Kristie. It means saving by spending. The word was new, but I've been familiar with the concept for quite some time (my wife is a couponer)--and how that concept gets misused. You aren't saving money when you get a bargain on something you don't "need". Since we all define "need" differently, I won't get into that. But I do want to share a story about my oldest brother and his first wife. Let's call them Fredo and Ivant.

When I was 18, Ivant wanted a sporty car and Fredo wanted to get it for her. He had a good job, but didn't have enough cash on hand. So he asked to borrow $5,000 (someday I'll do a post on why I had five grand). He promised to pay me back $250 a month and in a little over two years the debt would be repaid. The only interest on the loan was that I'd get to borrow the car once in a while.

They made the first two payments, but then something came up and they missed the 3rd payment. And the 4th. And the 5th. My brother was full of excuses about why he didn't have the money. Then at a family cookout I gained some insight on what was really going on. His wife, Ivant, went on and on to my mother about all the things she'd been buying--and what great deals she was getting. She was so proud. Then she mentioned a new gaming system she bought...and she asked my opinion on the price she paid. I told her it didn't matter what I thought, but she kept asking and finally insisted. So I told her what I thought...that when people can't pay the bills they have, it's time to stop buying things they don't need--no matter how great a deal it is!!!

She started crying and ran in my parent's house. I wanted to feel guilty, but it didn't happen.

I can't prove this, but I'm not a cheap person. But I am responsible and I expect people to do what they say they are going to do. I would have been happy to revise the repayment terms, but they preferred to ignore the debt while spendng like crazy.

Within a few weeks my brother repaid the remaining $4,500 (they borrowed the money from her parents) and we didn't talk much until two years later. He often needed me to watch their kids in the middle of the night so he could go looking for his wife. She was cheating on him with his best friend and soon they were divorced. So even if I had felt guilty about making her cry, it wouldn't have lasted very long.

Should I have felt guilty? Was I too harsh? I'm tempted to say it was only money, but there was a principle involved too. What do you think???

UK

Kristie is headed for the UK and that reminded me of a terrible joke (set in London). In the middle of the night, a constable stops a young couple walking down the street and asks if they live in the neighborhood. The woman points to a building and responds, "Yes sir, I live there and he has the flat behind." Yuk-yuk-yuk!

I think the Brittish may have invented "your momma" jokes. Old lines like, "Your mother's mouth is so big, she gets lipstick in her ears when she smiles" or "Your mother's mouth is so big she has to keep her false teeth in a bucket".

Other lines I've heard on Brittish shows:

"What's that in the road...a head?" is not how you want to ask what's ahead in the road.

"What's this thing called, love?" isn't what Cole Porter wrote.

Clearly I have nothing to post about. Actually, I do, but yes, this is a post about nothing--except hoping Kristie has a wonderful trip. =)

Have a great weekend folks!

Paying Our Respects...

to the living and the deceased. It's important, on an individual level and to groups of people we've never met--Memorial day, All Saints' Day, Veterans Day, All Souls' Day, etc. The 9/11 aniversary and a few other things have me thinking about this.

I saw a fellow almost cause an accident because he wanted to go when his traffic light turned green, rather than wait and let a funeral procession continue through the intersection. Waiting two minutes was too much to ask. But when we encounter a funeral procession, we have to let it go first. We probably don't know the person, but he or she was important to someone and stopping is the least we can do to pay our respects to the passing of the deceased and the grieving of the living. Do unto others...

My grandfather was the first loved one I lost. I was 7. It didn't seem real. Later I learned that it never does. I managed to annoy my dad at the funeral home. I thought I saw my grandpa's hand move. I didn't make a scene, dad just didn't want me telling people.

A semi-tradition started the next time I lost a relative. I think I was 12. Again I annoyed my dad, but that's not the tradition (at least not the one I'm blogging about). My grandfather's brother died and as my aunts planned the funeral I heard one say, "Let's have Rick be a pall-bearer.  He'll want to do it." At the time my reaction was to wonder why my 15 and 18 year-old brothers didn't have to do it. Plus, my mom's family was large, so why me? My feelings changed by the time the funeral ended. Experiencing a funeral for the first time, the collective grief, I was glad to have had a way to show my respects and be helpful. It was an honor.

I lost my mom when I was 25 and my dad some years later. After that, I'd been a pall-bearer 12 times. I'd rather be a godfather again, or a best man, but attending funerals is part of life too. It's good to help family and friends celebrate their happy moments, but it's even more important to be there to support them in their moments of grief...to pay our respects.

PS - This is my first scheduled post. I wanted the date to be 9/11, but didn't want to stay up until 3am (EST).

Snakes

Our slithery friends have, on occasion, been portrayed as evil. But a snake is just a snake, neither good nor bad. Which reminds me of the story of a girl who had to deliver food to her grandfather--he lived on the other side of a mountain. As she climbed, the air started getting colder. So she buttoned up her coat. Soon, she came across a half-frozen snake on the path. The snake asked for help.

Snake: I need to get to the other side of the mountain, but it's too cold. Would you please put me inside your coat and carry me with you???
Girl: No way! You're a snake, you'll bite me.
Snake: I won't, I promise. You can trust me because if I bite you, I'll freeze.

The girl saw the snake's logic and picked him up, putting him inside her coat. Ten steps later she felt a pain in her side. The snake had bitten her.

Girl: You bit me!!! You promised you wouldn't, but you bit me!
Snake: Hey, I'm a snake, it's what I do. It's your fault for picking me up.


Soooo, if you want to help someone you know is a snake, try to do it in a way that you won't get hurt. And if you do get hurt, don't be surprised if the snake blames you. It's what snakes do.

PS - No matter how reasonable it sounds, ALWAYS question a snake's logic. =)

(Note: I can't remember where I heard this story. Church? Probably not. I do have a snake story of my own, but it's about a real snake and has no point--except that it's good to have cats outside your house. Today I just wanted to make a point about human snakes. Too bad cats can't take care of them!)

I'm not Greta!!!

I'm sure you've all heard this old joke:

Person A: Surely you jest.
Person B: Don't call me Shirley!

Thanks to one of my most frequent typos, my comments may have had you reacting similar to Person B above. But in this case it would be, "Why did Rick call me Greta???"

I didn't. I don't even know anyone named Greta. Sure, I've heard of Greta Garbo, but I can't name a single thing she did. Anyway, in my comments, "greta" = "great".

So, my wonderful blog friends, accept the fact that, yes, you are greta!

Hope you have a gre.....um, a wonderful weekend.