Reading the Room

I’d forgotten, but a recent post by Yi-chia (Always Maylee) reminded me that I have a story about shorts.  At least it starts out being about shorts, then evolves into something else. 

I was 17 at the time and dating my soon-to-be bride.  We planned to grab dinner and go bowling on that summery Saturday evening.  When I arrived to pick her up, she was wearing white shorts.  She’d had them since she was 13 (and they were her favorite).  A lot of things change between the ages of 13 and 17 and, well, I’ll just say more was showing in the back than I felt was appropriate.  Especially for bowling!!! 

I suggested she change.  She said the shorts were “fine”.  I pointed out she couldn’t see them from all angles.  She refused to change.  I was okay with that, but I also wasn’t taking her out.  I settled in to watch tv with her parents.  She kept giving me the stink eye and motioning for us to leave.  Feeling playful, I smiled, turned to her dad and said, “Do you think it’s okay for your daughter to go bowling in those shorts?” 

Ka-boom!!!  He exploded, angrily telling her to change.  She exploded too, saying she was tired of everyone telling her what to do.  Her dad was very mad and she was crying.  As I sat there, slightly stunned, my only thought was, “I did that.”  It was my fault.  (I may have also been thinking “Teenagers!!!” but it would be weird to admit that.)

I failed to “read the room.”  If I’d paid attention, I would have known her father was agitated that night.  It was the wrong time for me to (even playfully) drag him into the shorts discussion.  I made mess.  I was wrapped up in my storyline and didn’t consider what was going on with the other characters—specifically her dad.  I hate being that guy.   

I ended up having to take her out to end the hostilities—but I didn't take her bowling.  We grabbed a few burgers and spent hours talking about her dad’s situation (soon he would have to stop working for health reasons), her frustrations, and maybe something about me…I can’t remember that part. 

It was a good lesson.  Always try to take heed of what’s going on around you, what people are going through, and what mood they are in at the time.  If you don’t, you’re likely to make a mess like I did.  Also, think twice before you decide to suggest someone's clothing might not be "appropriate"...and then think about it again before actually saying anything.  My wife is still mad about that (but she did stop wearing the shorts).  :D