Guest Post - Bandit

Thursday was one of the worst days of my life. My humans called it “Thanksgiving”. But to me it was more like, “Let’s annoy Bandit”! Don’t get me wrong, I love my humans—and they REALLY need me. I’ve been trying for years to train them to play fetch. Just when I think they have the hang of it, suddenly they forget everything. I put the ball right at their feet, but they don’t know what to do with it. I give them hints by pushing at it with my paw, but it doesn’t help. Plus, I have to single-handedly scare away that maniac (blue uniform, carries letters and boxes) who passes through the neighborhood every day. And they’re not the best communicators. I understand them, but when I talk they just smile at me. Sometimes I ask if they heard me, but they just smile more. Don’t get me started on how difficult it is to walk them!!!

But about Thursday, the alpha female and I got up early to start working in the kitchen. I watched carefully to make sure she didn’t drop anything. After helping her for hours, my family suddenly boxed up the food and left the house with it. What? All that work and we didn’t even eat??? Plus, I’m abandoned on a family holiday? As if that wasn’t enough, the humans left the remains of a cooked fowl sitting on the counter, out of my reach. I could smell it, but not eat it. It was maddening.

When they came home, they reeked of strange dogs. To add insult to injury, I think they gave my food to those other dogs!!!

You can see why it was such a bad day for me. **sigh** The life of dog! Well, I better sign off. I have a grooming appointment today and I think I’ll get my nails done too. Maybe get a new toy, eat, take a nap. Yes, it’s going to be a busy, busy day!

Woof-woof!
Bandit

Thanks for Giving

It's encouraging to see the number of truly caring, giving people there are in the world. I could easily be talking about my blog friends, but in this case I'm not. =)

Like most children, my daughter started kindergarten at age 5. That same year, my son also started attending public school. He was only 3. I'll skip the details and just say he was diagnosed as "speech delayed" by an unjustifiably smug school psychologist ("Your son is too young to know the alphabet. He knows the song, but he doesn't know the letters." Over the next 30 minutes he made her eat those words. :P).

The local school district wasn't very good in general, but they did have an excellent TAG program and a great special education program. That worked out well for my kids. The closest special education center was nearby, but served most of the school district--it brought kids in from all over. My son received wonderful attention there and I received an education. My experiences at the school were a combination of very rewarding and heart-breaking.

My family was relatively poor, but we had a huge extended family that recycled clothes and shared home-grown fruits and vegetables--and we had places to hunt and fish. Thanks to all of that, I didn't know we were poor. At my son's school, I met kids who knew they were poor and who lived in areas over-run with drugs and violence. Kids who only ate at school and got most of their clothes through the school. Kids who spent the night in cars because it was safer than sleeping in their parents' crack houses. And then there were the kids who were disabled for reasons I'm not going to share. Too upsetting. I know much of the world looks down on the US for still having a death penalty, but...

Anyway, the staff at the school was amazing, teaching and helping the students every day. They gave them much more than just an education. The teachers, the office staff, the lunch lady, etc., etc., went above and beyond. As the weather turned cold, coats magically appeared. They regularly brought food in to send home with the kids--especially on Fridays. While most workers look forward to three day weekends and a break at Christmas, you could see the worry on the school employee's faces. What's going to happen to "Tommy" or "Jane" when school is closed?

As important, they also gave the kids something many of them never had before: healthy, positive attention from stable, caring, people. I'm not saying the kids' families don't love them, but many are so messed up themselves they have only negative influences to give their children. That's worse than the poverty--to me.

So, this Thanksgiving I want to say thank you to all the teachers, occupational therapists, speech therapists, secretaries, janitors, lunch ladies and yes, even the school psychologists (most of them anyway) who help disadvantaged and disabled children learn and grow. They're inspiring, special people who help inspiring, special people.

PS - And I also want to offer kudos to my blog friends--I've witnessed your generous spirits and, well, it gives me a little more hope for humanity. =)


"Imagine all the people, sharing all the world."

Thanksgiving Tradition

Our Thanksgiving (TG) menu has become a tradition and is essentially the same every year: salad, roast turkey, sausage and rice stuffing, mashed potatoes (w/garlic OR sour cream), steamed green beans, yams w/marshmallows, cranberry sauce (or a cranberry creation), rolls, and homemade butternut squash pie…with a different appetizer (or two) each year.

The menu came from my side of the family. It became my-inlaws family tradition when my wife and I were 19 (we weren't married yet). Just before TG my mother-in-law had surgery that left her incapacitated. My GF and her 3 sisters panicked at the thought of cooking TG dinner. I told them not to worry; I could do it, no problem. They doubted me, but I showed confidence. We agreed they would buy the turkey and I would take care of everything else.

In truth, my show of confidence was just that—a show. The only cooking I had ever done was flipping burgers at Hardee’s (and beating tomato soup out of a can). But I'd watched my mom and grandma in the kitchen. Plus, I couldn’t count the number of times I had changed the water when one of them was soaking a turkey. How much harder could it be to cook one? Haha!

Speaking of soaking a turkey, I decided to spend the night at their house so I could do that and then get an early start cooking TG morning. After dinner I went to the fridge to get the turkey. It wasn’t there. I asked my wife where it was. “Oh, it’s downstairs in the freezer.” *cringe* I thought they knew the bird had to thaw before it could be cooked…they didn’t. That was my fault, I should have asked about it several days earlier. No problem! I stayed up all night changing the water every 30 minutes and the bird was ready to cook by 8:00 the next morning. But what was that stuff hidden in the neck cavity??? LOL!

I’ll spare you the details on all of the other prep work and skip to the results. The turkey was a little dry. The mashed potatoes were a little lumpy. The marshmallows on top of the yams were a little scorched (really, just a little). I used Minute Rice for the sausage stuffing (it was good anyway). The green beans were canned. But the brown ‘n serve rolls and the canned cranberry sauce were great…and the pie was perfect—my mom made it. =)

As you can see, I didn't make a great meal for them. But the quality didn't matter. Somehow it was one of their favorites and the menu became their new family tradition. I guess because they were feeling especially thankful that year—that my mother-in-law survived her surgery.

So why am I sharing this? Well, just to show that there’s no need to stress if you're faced with cooking your first meal or maybe the first for a new sweetie or his/her family. The real joy in sharing a meal is not about the food, it’s about the time spent together. If your family-friends don’t appreciate you cooking for them, then invite me over. I ALWAYS appreciate it when someone else is willing to cook!!! Call early if you’re more than a 2 hour drive from DC. LOL!

Happy Thanksgiving—whether you celebrate or not (or have celebrated it already in Canada)!

If you don't mind sharing, what are you thankful for today? Just the first thing that pops into your mind. As always, I know I’m thankful for the great people I’ve met through blogging. If you're reading this, that includes YOU! =)

Moving Forward (VERY Short)

Today I am filled with anguish and regret—I lost my cell phone!

Why wasn’t I more careful? Why didn’t I take better care of her? How many times did she suffer with a dead battery because I was too wrapped up in myself to even give her a charge?

She was very faithful, always ready to help when I needed it. I’m sorry I didn’t do better by her.

PS – Dear Phone, I know we’ll never see each other again, but I want to give you a heads-up that I’ll be transferring my number and minutes to a newer, sleeker model. Good journey!!!

Trusted Authority Figure

Note: At first my wife did not want me to share this story. She thought it made her look "dumb"--but being naive @ 15 is pretty normal.

In my youth, I trusted only a small circle of friends. I was wary of others and kept an eye on people, always aware of who was around. Sizing them up. I was respectful, but trust was a different story. My wife often tells me that I've gotten more trusting over the years (too trusting, to use her exact words). But I go with my gut reaction when I meet people face-to-face (something about micro-expressions and your subconscious). I have been accurate reading men. As for women...well, on with the story. ;P

When I started dating my wife (@ 15) I was still in my suspicious phase, but also fairly mature for my age. She says I was 15 going on 40. One day she informed me she was going to visit her former (9th grade) science teacher after school (we were in 10th). The junior high he taught at was only a quarter mile from the high school, so she planned to walk.

Being who I was (and am, in this case), I didn't like the idea of her walking there alone and roaming around a mostly empty school. I also didn't like the sound of some of the things she said the teacher had said to her the previous year. It tickled my spidey sense. Maybe I'd seen too many after-school specials, but I went with her to visit the teacher.

I took one look at him and knew he was scum. He went to give her a hug, so I stepped between them to introduce myself and shake his hand. I engaged him in conversation--and stayed between them. My GF was so mad at me later. Apparently, I didn't hide my opinion of him. He was her favorite teacher and I was being a jerk.

She told people that story about me for years. But she left out a key part of the story--she didn't even tell me until recently. She forgot, then casually mentioned it one day, as if I knew. A few weeks after our visit to the 40 year-old teacher, he sent my 15 year-old GF a letter. He told her she was very special and he'd always hoped they could be together. But after seeing her with me, he knew that wasn't going to happen. He just wanted her to know how he felt about her. WTHeck???

She says she was so naive, she didn't realize what the letter meant--and she never told anyone about it. She didn't realize guys don't write letters like that to say goodbye to people they like. They write them to say, "Hey, I love you and we should be together." Thankfully she never visited him again. Maybe she did know what he was up to, but didn't want to acknowledge it.

Did I mention she was 15 and he was 40??? Maybe nothing bad would have happened to her if I had just gone home that day. But still, he was scum, masquerading as a trusted authority figure. That happens far too often. I don't want to encourage distrust, but I DO want to encourage caution. We can't ignore the fact that there are bad teachers, bad police officers, bad priests, bad people (in any profession) out there. I'm tempted to say "trust no one!". But that's too extreme. There are plenty of good people.

I know my blog friends are smart. So be yourself, trust your instincts, and if you find you trusted the wrong person (as my wife did), don't.blame.yourself!!! And when you discover the person is a jerk, don't keep it a secret--tell everyone!


Also, if you're a 28 year-old, 260 pound, former football player and you see a coach taking advantage of a little boy, don't walk away--PUT A STOP TO IT!!!

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

More Oversharing

As I mentioned previously, Dana tagged me with the Versatile Blogger award (Thank you!) and I need to share 7 new bits of info about myself. Some of the 7 are in response to questions from blog friends (Thank you, too!).

1. What’s the strangest thing you’ve eaten? (MizzJ): I once had my fork poised to dig into a friend’s order of calves brains, but I couldn’t do it. Today I tried scrapple for the first time--don't buy it, it's awful. Once upon a time, sushi and octopus were strange for me, but not anymore.
2. Why don’t your posts have more pictures? (Amy): I never got into the habit of taking pics—except when my kids were tiny. Avoiding being IN pictures is one of my superpowers.
3. What color are your eyes? (Thanh-Thao): Blue. If you can stomach enlarging my profile pic, you can see the particular shade.

...and the final four bits of info:

4. I like my eggs over-easy (firm whites) or in an omelet—with lots of pepper.
5. Every night when I get home from work, I take a minute to look up at the moon and stars. That makes me smile and helps me leave work problems outside. Pity my family on cloudy nights. =)
6. Growing up I didn't get an allowance (despite LOTS of chores), but I found a few ways to make money. I think I just found a topic for new post!
7. MizzJ was curious about the near-deadly kiss I received as a 14 year-old. I rarely get asked to share a story, so I’m jumping on this opportunity! :P (Thanks MizzJ)


It was a daaarrrk night--LOL, it was Halloween, right after I encountered the gun nut. I'd been on my way to meet friends and after that slight delay, I did. The girl was with the group.

She and I had recently started talking on the bus and at school. I had just started this new thing where I actually talked with people. It was a conscious decision to change my behavior. I’d been VERY reserved up until then. She was dressed as a flapper for Halloween. Being a gentleman, I offered her my coat. She didn’t accept--she didn't want to hide her fringe. We talked, walked with the group, and looked out for the little ones. When it was time to head home, she wanted to tell me something. We walked off to get some privacy. She said her family was moving out of state that weekend and she wanted to kiss me good-bye. It was quite an experience—my first real kiss. I didn’t have anything to compare it to, but it was nice. My opinion on that would change later.

Soon, I wasn’t feeling great. By Thanksgiving I had pneumonia, which led to the discovery that I also had mononucleosis and an enlarged spleen. One of the flapper’s friends confirmed she had mono when she kissed me—she’d snuck out of her house. I was very sick. Our doctor wanted to put me in the hospital, but my parents were frugal regarding health care (you did not want to be one of our pets). I didn’t return to school until January. I wasn’t supposed to exert myself, but I joined the wrestling team. Boys have no sense!

Was it sweet that she snuck out of her house to kiss me goodbye? Or was it thoughtless to give me mono? After being so sick, I decided it was the latter. Oh well, at least it was a memorable first kiss--and, as I mentioned to Julie (who recently wore a flapper dress), it was kind of awesome to get a month off from school. See, boys have no sense!!! ;P

Have a great weekend!

Mountain Time

In early August I realized I was burned out. Due to scheduling conflicts and work due dates, I had to delay a vacation until October—I planned 2 weeks. Then my boss (& almost everyone else) quit in September. After a delay, I was able to take some time off last week. I thought it would be the perfect time to visit Salem, MA. But I remembered there was a place my wife has wanted to visit for as long as I’ve known her. Natural Bridge, VA. We went there instead.

There's not a lot to see--it's a small site. Water wore away rock and left behind a thick, sturdy, natural bridge. Route 11 actually goes over it. It is scenic. A pretty little mountain creek runs through and when crows “caw” while flying under the bridge it makes an eerie sound. But that’s about it. Oh, and the bus they use to shuttle people back and forth from the bottom of the ravine (holler?) is an ancient rattle-trap. It stalled as we were getting ready to leave. The driver flooded the carburetor and refused to take my advice to push the gas pedal to the floor when he tried to restart it. He kept just turning the key, as if it was a fuel-injected engine. Ugh! We walked (rock-climbed) back to the gift-shop—where I requested and received a refund. Our fellow passengers all stayed with the bus, waiting. I hope they eventually made it out of there.

My wife dreamed of Natural Bridge because her mom went there on an elementary school field trip (probably on the same bus). She grew up hearing about it and wanted to retrace her mom’s steps. That actually made it a nice trip for me too. And the Blue Ridge Parkway is a nice drive this time of year. The trees were very colorful.

My wife also enjoyed stopping at many (many, many) antique shops along our route. I teased her I was going to tell people we had to stop fo every hillbilly selling hubcaps on the side of the road—it would be rude to ignore family! That may not be funny to you, but she almost choked. Her family is from that area (a little farther south) and (according to my dad) I’m a country boy myself...so I can say "hillbilly" without it being an insult.

Aside from the fact that the trip made her happy, the best part for me was that we had lunch one day at a Hardee’s—my first employer. They no longer operate in the DC area. Stopping there was a nice stroll down memory lane. It doesn’t take much to make me happy! =)

Halloween Rerun

If the networks can show Charlie Brown every year for 45 years, I should be able to repeat the post about my strangest Halloween night. Here goes:

I was 14 and too old to trick or treat, but too young to stay in. So after re-stocking drinks in my grandma’s store, I headed for the nearby sub-division to meet up with friends. It was a quarter-mile walk in the pitch black on a country road. Perfect for a spooky night.

As I neared the subdivision, I heard a commotion near one of the houses. As I rounded the corner of the house I saw a man in his 30’s pointing a very shiny handgun at four boys--who were huddling together. I was out in the open and he pointed the gun at me briefly. Without thinking about it, I walked towards him, gestured towards the kids and asked, “What did they do?“, as if I was not a kid myself. He turned the gun back towards them. I walked over next to him and he explained that his mother’s house had been egged—and he was tired of her being harassed. I introduced myself as the grandson of the woman who ran the little store down the road (everyone knew her) and told him I’d talked with his mom many times.

Then I turned to the only one of the accused I knew:

Me: Andy, did you and your friends throw the eggs?
Andy: No.
Me: Do you know who did?
Andy: We saw guys running that way just before we got here.
Me: Okay, you two go look for the other guys and try to get names. You two help Mr. Wilson clean the egg off his mom’s house.

Mr. Wilson put his gun away, apologized to me for losing his temper, and then they all did what I told them to do. Whew!!! That’s when I realized if you act confident and that you are doing what you're supposed to, people will cooperate. It all happened so quickly, I didn’t have time to get nervous. But I did feel shaky as I went in search of my friends. That’s when I encountered the girl.


Okay, I'm not going to repeat the girl part. She kissed me, I caught mononucleosis and then pneumonia. I missed school almost the entire month of December. There were rumors I'd died, so my first week back at school was a little strange.

I ended the original post by wondering who would have guessed the girl would end up being more dangerous than the gun. But that was mostly my doing. I recognized the danger of the gun, but it never occurred to me that a girl could be dangerous too. What a naive boy. LOL!

PS - Here are this year's Halloween pumpkins.