Sports "heros"

The Tampa Bay Times website shared the following about a visit by Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston to an elementary school in St. Petersburg, Florida: 

"All my young boys, stand up. The ladies, sit down," Winston said. "But all my boys, stand up. We strong, right? We strong! We strong, right? All my boys, tell me one time: I can do anything I put my mind to. Now a lot of boys aren't supposed to be soft-spoken. You know what I'm saying? One day y'all are going to have a very deep voice like this (in deep voice). One day, you'll have a very, very deep voice.

"But the ladies, they're supposed to be silent, polite, gentle. My men, my men supposed to be strong. I want y'all to tell me what the third rule of life is: I can do anything I put my mind to. Scream it!"

So...men can do anything and ladies are supposed to sit down and be quiet?  And men can't be soft spoken??? 

My grandmother or mother-in-law would have helped that professional athlete see the light...or maybe some stars. 

As an ESPN reporter wrote:  "You have to ignore a lot in order to throw Jameis Winston up as a role model for 5th graders."  (He has quite a checkered past)

We've got to stop trying to equate athletic ability with character...for the good of both girls and boys.

Crushed

Back in the spring of 2010 I mentioned in a post that I'd had my heart broken a little the previous weekend.  I never went into what caused it.

Saying I was heart broken was a little misleading...and yet at the same time it wasn't.  The issue was money.  Money and debt.  And secrets.  In 2010 my wife wrote a $5,000 check without telling me.  I thought the bank made a mistake.  It took a lot of effort, but my wife finally admitted she wrote the check to pay off a credit card bill.  I had no idea she was $5,000 in debt.  But it was good to have it gone. Except it wasn't gone.

In the spring of 2014 I accidentally opened a piece of mail that I honestly thought was addressed to me.  It wasn't.  I opened what I thought was my credit card bill and didn't understand what I was seeing.  That's because it wasn't mine.  It was from the same company, but it was my wife's bill.  She owed $20,000.  I was stunned.  We talked about it, paid it off.  She promised there was no other debt, no more secrets.

Today I found out I'm broke.  Well, we have the house (and mortgage) and retirement accounts.  But we have no cash.  Well, we HAVE cash, it's just that my wife owes more than we have--almost four times more than what I'd already paid off for her.

I thought we were a team.  I thought we were on the same page.  I thought we were working to provide for our son's retirement (I know that sounds weird, but he has a serious case of Asperger's Syndrome and his earning potential is very limited).  But it turns out we've saved nothing. 

It's all been for nothing.  Today I feel completely crushed. 


PS - On the bright side, no one will see this post, but at least I got to vent.

Care Package

Close to Easter 2015 I received a care package from a very good blog friend, Jolene of Jo's Jumbled Jardinière.  It was my first package ever from Singapore.  She's a very sweet girl--a good wife, sister and friend (some of her current friendships started in...well, I'll just say they started when she started school :).  

Jo included a selection of items for my taste buds and my mind.  The package had:

--Yan Yan (tasty cookie sticks with a pool of chocolate for dipping):
--Pepero (chocolate covered pretzel sticks):
--Inspirational magnets:
--Captain America (Diamond blocks):
--a book on the Evolution of Language: and
--a jar of candy--including eyeglass candy packaged in the shape of a lucky 8!  The jar included samples of Haw Flakes, White Rabbit taffy, lemon candy (Smarties style), grape Magic Pop (pop rocks).  

You're probably thinking (and I wouldn't blame you) that I ate it all too quickly to take any pictures.  But I did take pictures.  I lost them when my IPod crashed right after that.  I still had the jar of candy, so I took more pictures of that and the non-consumables with my replacement IPod.  Since I am somewhat cursed when it comes to pictures*, my IPod and computer won't speak to one another.  So no pictures!  I've tried many times.

But pictures or no pictures, I remember and appreciate your kind gesture, Jo!  Thank you!!!

PS - Thanks to Jo, I know that, after a brief fling with Malaysia, Singapore became truly independent in 1965.  50 years ago!


* I lost almost all of my childhood and early adult photos when someone stole the leather bag my wife had put them in.  She had taken them to her office to scan them--so we would always have copies.  Cursed! 

Context (and "So long, farewell...")

In early November I received a promotional e-mail from "Brad's Deals" touting shopping bargains for the day.  The first item listed on the Subject line was "personalized stockings".

That confused me.  Why would a woman need her stockings to be personalized?  Is it like moms putting their kids' names in their underwear before they go to summer camp???  I deleted the e-mail without opening it.

In mid-December I saw a Christmas stocking in a commercial.  Christmas stockings!!!  Of course, THAT is what "Brad" was promoting in early November.  This reinforces my belief that Christmas is promoted too early--before I'm ready to think about it.  Let me get to Thanksgiving, then start bombarding me with Christmas.

That said, merry Christmas to all (who celebrate it) and to all...farewell. 

I'm closing down Waiting for Wisdom. Saturday Night Live stole one of my stories, so I'm out.  It has nothing to do with the fact that I haven't had a good idea for a post in many months.  :D 

Thank you for humoring me over the years and being part of my extended family.  I over-shared like crazy here and you were always understanding, supportive and a wonderful source of treasured observations, humor and advice.


PS - But you're not free of me yet!  I'll still be visiting your blogs and commenting, hopefully on a regular basis.

Disappointed...

in myself.  I started to name this post "Today's yesterday", but that might have given the impression I think this post is deep.  It's not.


During quiet moments it's not unusual for some of my own recent events to come back to me. Conversations, encounters, decisions...anything, it doesn't have to be a big thing.  It's not intentional.  It's just where my mind goes at times.  We all do it to some extent.


As I was commuting home yesterday I remembered seeing a story on the news last week about a murder near a gas station in a neighboring county.  As my wife walked through the room that evening I said, "Hey look, gas is $1.97 there."


Gas!  A man had been killed and I was noticing the price of gas.  At the time I didn't think anything of it.  But it was bad.  I didn't realize I'd gotten desensitized to the news.  I shared this story with a friend at work and he laughed--but out of surprise rather than thinking it's funny.


Any suggestions on how to re-sensitize? 

Sleep Cycles

My belief that some of us are simply born to be night owls keeps growing stronger.  That was given a big boost this week when a friend posted that her baby preferred to sleep all day and stay up all night.  She's doing everything possible (short of drugs) to flip that around, but it's hard to fight mother nature. 

I know, because I am one of those night owls. 

As a small child I tossed and turned almost every night when trying to get to sleep.  Eventually I'd give up. 

• Then my feet would go up on the wall. 
• Then I'd sit up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. 
• Look out the window. 
• Sit in the rocking chair in the living room. 
• Then sit on the end of my parent's bed, in case one of them was awake.

If one of them was awake, they were too smart to admit it.  Eventually I'd go back to bed.  Morning would come too soon.  Morning still comes too soon. 

My daughter takes after me with regard to sleep.  So it was no surprise to me when our then-4 year-old daughter told us she'd seen a cartoon that was only on at 2am.  She saw a commercial for the show and said, "I watched that last night."  My wife said that was impossible, but our girl described it too well to be mistaken.

I suspect there might actually be more of "us" than there are of the early-to-bed crowd, but they run the world.  They get up early and make all the rules while the rest of us are still sleeping!  :D 

Candyman

The version given to us by the "greatest generation" granted childhood wishes ("you can even eat the dishes"). 

The version created by the baby boomers will kill you just for saying his name. 

This could mean nothing...maybe it's not a trend...but I'm suddenly worried about what the millennials are going to do!!!  (As soon as they get out of their parent's basements.)


PS - You guessed it, I had nothing to post.  So I gave you a sample of one of the silly, random thoughts that cross my mind during my daily commute to work.  :D

Free Speech

It's interesting to read how people in the US react when there is a negative reaction to "speech" they agree with--the standard, uninformed reaction is to say the First Amendment to the Constitution protects us from being criticized for what we say.  Too many have a basic misunderstanding of what the First Amendment guarantees. 

The text reads:  "Congress shall make no law ... abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press ... "

It's actually not that cut and dried--you can't threaten people (especially important people).  But the government can't arrest you for disagreeing with a law, policy or regulation; saying what you think of any or all religions; or sharing your views on patriotism, abortion, races, countries or whatever. 

But it does NOT mean:

• people won't mock you, ostracize you
• you can't be fired for things you say
• people won't boycott your business

You're (almost) free to say what you want without interference from the government.  But the First Amendment does not shield us from the reactions of other people--including employers, customers, friends and neighbors. 

A Hollywood celebrity learned this lesson recently.  He participated in an anti-police rally and is quoted as saying, “When I see murders, I do not stand by . . . I have to call the murderers the murderers.”  (He was referring to the police.)  In response, several police unions called for a boycott of the celeb's new movie.  In a subsequent interview, he said, "I was under the impression that I was an American and I had First Amendment Rights." 

He is and he does.  But being free to say what you want does not mean there will be no consequences for you. 

Belated Halloween Post

I forgot to share a Halloween/ghost story this year!!!  But it's never to late to post whatever we want, so here's story about a ghostly encounter in my parent's dark, spooky basement. 

Basement? Cellar might be a more appropriate word. It was unfinished, with a concrete floor and cinder block walls. It flooded on occasion, so the washer and dryer were up off the floor on pallets. The cellar was lit by four single, bare light bulb fixtures--one in each quadrant. Only one of the lights could be turned on from upstairs.  The other 3 had pull chains. At night it was a creepy place.

I made frequent trips to the cellar to move clothes from the washer to the dryer and to bring clothes up from the dryer. That was a regular chore. During one night time trip to the cellar, it felt more creepy than usual. Dread would be too strong a word, but I wasn't happy to be down there.

I hurried a little and tried to show no fear. Did I mention I was 8? Anyway, I filled the clothes basket--which was as big as I was--turned off the light over the washer and headed for the stairs. In my haste, I slipped when I was halfway up the stairs. I started to fall backwards with the laundry basket on my chest. I gasped, holding my breath in anticipation of the impact (with the concrete floor). But instead of hitting the floor, I felt something touch both of my shoulder blades...like two hands catching me. Suddenly I was standing straight up again, just a few steps down from where I had slipped. It happened so quickly I wasn't sure what HAD happened.

Did my grandmother save my life that night? (According to family lore, my dad's mom haunted the house.)  Or at age 8 did I have the reflexes of a cat and catch myself? Since my hands were clutching the laundry basket and the basket itself was laying across my chest, I don't see how I possibly could have caught myself. Someone...something saved me that night. I like to think it was my grandmother.

This was the only odd experience in my parent's cellar...but as I reached my teen years, odd things started happening in my attic bedroom.  (Spooky things.) 

Renewable Resources

It's becoming more and more important to recognize and utilize renewable resources.  So I want to share a few tips on paper products.

The brown napkins in my desk drawer at work are a renewable resource.

The white tissues on my desk are not.

Why?  Is it related to the production process that made one brown and the other white?  No.  Is it related to which company manufactured them?  No--they're both generic products, I have no idea who made them. 

The napkins are renewable because I get them for free from the take-out place on the first floor of my building.  I have to BUY the tissues!!!

So, I hope this has been helpful and that you'll all do what you can to save money the planet.  :D

Happy Thanksgiving Canada!!!

Sorry for being late.

Canadians easily make up a quarter of my list of favorite people.  (Side note:  Peru, it's like you're not even trying.  Get it together!!!  :)

I hope all of my friends (in the northern hemisphere) are having a great autumn! Happy spring to the "southerners"!

Pope Mania

The Pope's recent visit to the US prompted lots of discussion about him and the Church, including some odd criticisms.

People on the political right were referring to him as "that communist Pope" because of his stance on immigration and helping the less fortunate.  Pretty ridiculous criticism.  Anyone surprised that the leader of the Catholic Church believes in people helping each other has led a very sheltered life.

Of course, people from the political left had equally odd criticisms--revealing the shocking news that this supposedly progressive Pope doesn't support abortion or gay marriage.  Weird!  It's like he's a dyed-in-the-wool Catholic or something! 

Pope Francis is a good man.  Hopefully he will help people realize that you can disagree with people and still respect them (unless they behave disrespectfully). 

College Acquaintances

During my first year of college I interacted with a small group of guys who (like me) were studying accounting.  Sometimes we talked before class started.  Some days we had lunch together at a greasy spoon--a tiny burger joint down an alley (so good!).  They were classmates (not friends).  After class the group headed for the subway.  I did too.  That's when they really started to annoy me. 

The apparent leader of their group was not very evolved and the others were easily lead.  He thought it was fun to make women traveling alone feel uncomfortable.  He'd stare at them, make creepy comments.  I swear sometimes I thought I heard him grunt.  His buddies joined in and they tried to isolate that day's target from the rest of the passengers.  My grandmother would have been ashamed of me if I let that happen.  So I didn't.

At their worst, I'd stand between them and the girl until she got off the train.  Other times I tried to explain why what they were doing was wrong.  I tried to get them to see they were being disrespectful, creepy and scary.  I even tried the old "what if it was your sister or GF?."  But their leader had an ignorant answer for everything.  I think I suggested they ask their mothers about it.  But it's been a long time, I'm not sure.

But I am sure I made no progress with those boys.  They laughed at what I said.  Hopefully most of them grew up and changed their behavior.  But I doubt it.  For me the experience was a bit of a revelation.  That's when I first realized you can have truth, justice and logic on your side, but that doesn't mean anyone is going to listen.  After summer classes I started working full time and going to school at night.  I lost touch with the boys after that.  Then I started having trouble with the girls, but that's a different story.  :D

I'm sure I wrote this story before, but I couldn't find it!  A great post about ignorant signs posted by college boys welcoming female freshmen to campus reminded me of it.  Will things ever change???

Prohibition

We don't do prohibtion very well in the US.  I think it's a people problem. 

THE "Prohibition" in the US, during which the sale of alcohol was banned, was a failure.  It did reduce alcohol consumption for a time, but mostly it succeeded in making criminals rich and costing the government tax revenue.  But I'm not referring to just THE Prohibition.  I'm talking about most things that are banned or illegal:

• Illegal drugs?  Failure.  There are so many heroin overdoses in the DC area that most local police departments stock the antidote in patrol cars.  And now China is sending us "synthetic drugs".  It's as bad as PCP and has been blamed for the recent spike in homicides.  Oh, and PCP is back.
• Gun control?  Where bans exist, failure.  Jurisdictions with the most strict gun laws routinely have the worst gun violence (Chicago).  We actually under-report the problem by counting only murders instead of all the shootings.
• Commercial sex?  Where bans exist, failure. 
• Once upon a time, abortion would have been on the list.  Its ban was a back-alley nightmare. 

Maybe the US is a country of criminals. My daughter tells me that when the US was still under British rule, our forefathers routinely headed west without permission. At the same time our Canadian brothers patiently waited for the Crown to authorize who, when and where--great examples of loyal, law-abiding citizens. 

Because of our history and "spirit", I don't think banning handguns in the US would be any more successful than the bans mentioned above.  Criminals would still have them (and profit greatly by selling them) and there would be more criminals than ever because the US version of law-abiding citizens are going to hide as many as they surrender. 

Our gun problem won't be solved until we solve our people problem. Maybe it's not too late to become the "Nation of laws" we often claim to be.   Maybe we could start with little things, like obeying existing laws. Don't drive 30 MPH over the speed limit in school zones (or call the policeman names for giving you the ticket you earned).  Try stopping at a stop sign once in a while.  The government needs to pitch in too.  Stop looking the other way when government officials break the law.  Let's take a few baby steps to show our laws matter and apply to everyone.

"I'm sorry"

That can mean I'm apologizing for something.  Said differently, it's a question.

But I think it can also be said as an expression of empathy.  I'm I wrong? 

Someone in my past (don't know who) MUST have used it that way because I do!  Is it from my grandparent's era and fallen out of use now???  I ask because more often than not, the people I say it to respond, "It's not your fault" and I have to explain that I meant it as an expression of empathy.  I had to explain it to someone today--and my tone was less empathetic and more "why the heck would I think it's my fault???" (which I feel bad about now). 

Anyway, if you tell someone you have a terrible headache and the person says, "Oh, I'm so sorry", the correct response should be something along the lines of, "I'm okay" or "Thank you". 


PS - Although, if you work with me and you have a headache, telling me it's not my fault probably isn't the worst answer.  lol!  (The person didn't have a headache)

G is for Gross!

Lisa (of expanding) recently posted her ABC's, with each letter of the alphabet representing a question she had to answer.  G was "Grossest Memory?".  Her grossest memory is very similar to mine--or at least it reminded me of a very gross one.  One that I'm now going to share.   (It's Lisa's fault!  :D )

My wife and I used to take my dad and his wife out to dinner once a month or so when they were not in Florida.  Dad liked to reciprocate once in a while (usually at The Old Country Buffet or someplace similar).  On this particular outing he introduced us to the Piccadilly Cafeteria.  My daughter (who was almost 4 at the time) loved it.  Specifically she loved their corn and their jello (red).  She had several servings of each.  It was cute.  Later that night it was not so cute. 

At 3am I heard my daughter crying in her bed.  Crying and throwing up.  She was throwing up all the corn she'd had for dinner...and it was pink!  It looked like a pink corn version of a science fair volcano.  So gross!!!

My wife cleaned the child and I took care of the sheets and blankets.  Getting through moments like that (instead of going for a drive)...that's love.


PS - Oddly, my daughter isn't that fond of corn now.  :)

"You better watch out..."

That's a line from a Christmas carol.  One that warns kids to be good because Santa is coming. 

I want to share a reason for adults to be good:  My wife might be on your jury!

Last night as we watched the news, my wife said, "They should fry that guy!!!  Oh, that reminds me.  I have to call about jury duty in the morning."

Be afraid.  Be very afraid!!!  :D


PS - Hope you're all having a great summer so far. 

My Life in Numbers

I'm following Lisa's example (on Expandng) and sharing some relevant numbers from my life (actually just the past 10 days):

3 doctor appointments (bronchitis, sinus infection, ear infection, and thrush)

3 antibiotics

2 anti-fungals (for the thrush)

1 inhaler

1 nose spray (antihistamine)

1 steroid

That's 8 prescriptions (so far). It turns out the steroids suppressed my immune system, making it harder for the first antibiotic to work on the infection...and making it easier for the potential bad side-effects of the antibiotic to manifest and create new problems.

"Pray for Mojo" You get pop culture cool points if you get the reference. :D

Have a great weekend folks--I'm looking forward to July!

My First Niece

I was 6 when she was born.  The first year was fine, but once she became mobile I was made responsible for keeping her out of trouble.  That was a big job.  Once she became verbal it was an impossible job.  :)

Much like her other uncle (my middle brother, the open container of gasoline), she seemed to love getting into trouble.  I wasn't an angel myself, but in this scenario I was the angel on one shoulder and he was...well, he was the one on her other shoulder.  lol!  And the two of them bonded over that. 

Every summer she spent two weeks with my parents.  My brother was the fun uncle and I was the uncle tasked with helping my parents try to change her from a spoiled brat into a regular person.  Most summers it worked.  She went home with manners.  But by Christmas they were gone.  It was frustrating.  Today she is a contributing member of society (sort of...she works for an insurance company :), a wife and mother. 

But my main image of her is that of a 2.5 year-old, watching my brother and I fight in the front yard (we were only wrestling).  I was 9 and he was 12.  It would be a few more years before I could take him on a regular basis, but that day I had him.  I'd twisted him into a  pretzel and had complete control of the situation.  My niece didn't like that and decided to help her favorite uncle--by yelling at me to "leave him alone" (HE started it) and by kicking me in the face and head.  To stop her I would have to let him go--and I really didn't want to let him go.  So that went on for quite a while.  I finally yielded when I realized my brother was more amused by our niece kicking me than he was upset about losing to his little brother. 

They made quite a tag team back in the day.  :D

Cross-over Appeals

Something amusing is happening on my Instagram account.  Well, it's amusing to me.  I'm sure it has happened to everyone with an account. 

When I first opened the account, I started getting random "likes" from people I didn't (and don't) know.  I hoped they were friends of friends deciding to reach out...and sometimes they were.  But most often they were ladies* apparently trying to sell something.  I say "apparently" because I never clicked on the links on their IG accounts, so I don't know for sure.  (The accounts are all the same, six to 12 pictures of a girl who is not completely unattractive and a link to click.  Maybe to talk with her?  I don't know.) 

The funny thing is that over the past few months the strangers visiting my IG account (in hopes of peaking my interest and getting me to click on their links) have been men*.  The kooks running the operation finally noticed I wasn't responding to the strange women*, so they started having strange men* visit instead.  

I joked with my wife that it means I have cross-over appeal.  But these appeals to cross-over are strictly business, hustlers looking to separate a fool from his money.  That part is not so amusing.  I'd like to think no one clicks on those links, but someone must or the kooks wouldn't keep trying. 
 

* Of course there's no way to tell who actually manages those IG accounts.  It could be one 90 year-old man running the entire operation.  In fact, I could be that 90 year-old man!!!  But I'm not.  :D